I am currently catching parts of a Pretty Little Liars marathon in between projects. I get that there are literally hundreds of absurd and unrealistic pieces of this show I could pick apart, but the worst so far may actually be the British dude that hosts Spencer when she goes for her fake college interview in London. Aka: a dark wood pub set with a Buckingham Palace backdrop.
From the accent, to the lingo, to the references! He talks about not carrying an umbrella (you know, because it rains there a lot) and wants to fix her a Hot Toddy (which I believe they think is English, but I think it's actually Scottish via India). This man, though semi-attractive, was a fucking caricature of Brits. I'm honestly shocked the script didn't call for him to be dressed up as Sherlock Holmes and carrying around a plate of fish & chips. You know, so we get that Spencer is in London. This is whole other country. *said in Forrest Gump fashion*
Tuesday, June 2, 2015
Goonies Never Say Die! Even As Grown Ups
You know, I remember being in my very young 20's and thinking "Man, it's going to really suck to grow up because you never get to sleep at a friend's house again, you don't get to have boyfriends, you have to wear loose capris and chunky sandals to be respected, you have to eat macaroni salad and gain a bunch of weight around your elbows....all this stuff blows". I truly pre-mourned everything I loved about being young. The very Midwest, country, conventional ideas of being a "grown up" made me sad, but seemed inevitable.
I did NOT think that at 38 years old, my friends would all be highly respected individuals who still want to plan bi-weekly biking pub crawls around our city while singing songs from Now And Then and Goonies. I didn't think we would all be meeting up on Sunday nights after a long day of boozy brunching to yell at the tv during the scary parts of Game of Thrones. I hoped we would be having in-depth conversations about race relations, music, art, our favorite cheese shops, but I didn't think we'd be having them while drinking sneaky Straw-Ber-Itas with our toes in the sand on a man-made beach in the middle of the city while someone performs a cover of Uptown Funk on a stage by the Campus Martius fountain. The black tie events we regularly attend are fabulous, but 100% better than I ever imagined as we usually uber there from a pre-party with flasks full of bourbon and sour straws in our clutches while laughing the whole way.
I always imagined a loving, stable, content (boring) relationship that I made the most of by lodging some ill-timed arguments and taking absolute and total control over a man's soul and checkbook while wearing a big ol diamond. I certainly never imagined I'd actually end up in a movie theater getting my thong ripped off under my skirt because we're both really bored with the newest Mad Max movie. Then getting fucked over the hood of the Benz in the driveway for outdoor fun because the blowjob with the top down was merely child's play. I did not foresee these things in my future as "an adult". Man, do I love it when I'm wrong.
I did NOT think that at 38 years old, my friends would all be highly respected individuals who still want to plan bi-weekly biking pub crawls around our city while singing songs from Now And Then and Goonies. I didn't think we would all be meeting up on Sunday nights after a long day of boozy brunching to yell at the tv during the scary parts of Game of Thrones. I hoped we would be having in-depth conversations about race relations, music, art, our favorite cheese shops, but I didn't think we'd be having them while drinking sneaky Straw-Ber-Itas with our toes in the sand on a man-made beach in the middle of the city while someone performs a cover of Uptown Funk on a stage by the Campus Martius fountain. The black tie events we regularly attend are fabulous, but 100% better than I ever imagined as we usually uber there from a pre-party with flasks full of bourbon and sour straws in our clutches while laughing the whole way.
I always imagined a loving, stable, content (boring) relationship that I made the most of by lodging some ill-timed arguments and taking absolute and total control over a man's soul and checkbook while wearing a big ol diamond. I certainly never imagined I'd actually end up in a movie theater getting my thong ripped off under my skirt because we're both really bored with the newest Mad Max movie. Then getting fucked over the hood of the Benz in the driveway for outdoor fun because the blowjob with the top down was merely child's play. I did not foresee these things in my future as "an adult". Man, do I love it when I'm wrong.
Monday, June 1, 2015
YAS KWEEN!!!!!!
Ok. So Anyone who knows me is acutely aware that I flip out every time anyone discusses Bruce Jenner's transition. In a good way. I also bawl my eyes out during any special that airs regarding the transition and how everyone is dealing with it.
I don't cry because I'm sad or worried or because I had any particular attachment to Bruce and his physical appearance, but I cry because watching someone free themselves from things that hold them back from their soul's happiness is a profoundly moving sight.
In my life there have been prolonged times of sickness, unrest and unhappiness. Aside for the obvious fucking snake tornadoes of Crohn's Disease, relationships were shitty, jobs were terrible, friendships ended, and those times were really shattering to me. I get that these are pretty common problems to have in life and you just get through them. For me, I think they were hardest because I'm normally a super happy individual. I really am. I'm not one for big mood shifts, I avoid conflict, I don't enjoy negativity at all. I very much shy away from things that don't make me feel good and I trust who I trust and I always have. Secrets don't particularly appeal to me and any time I've had to keep one, it eats at me a little every day. If you have ever told me a secret, there has always been one person I can then tell it to who keeps it safe and it relieves me of the burden whether the secret is good or bad. And that just got me thinking of how utterly suffocating it must have been for Bruce to keep this inside him for so long.
As I have gotten older, I have amassed a large group of totally kick-ass loved ones. Some of these people have come along in the last 5 years, some have been here last 30+ years. I was talking to my mom about it the other day. My thoughts are "Fuck, I am SO lucky to have friends". What I really meant by that was that I am me. I am comfortable in my skin, happy there, really. I don't even know better than to be totally authentic. Sure, I can keep my shit together in formal situations, I can be cordial to people I don't particularly like, but I wouldn't know how to be fake if someone explained it to me. Authenticity comes very natural to me because it has been encouraged from a very young age. The people around me are wonderful and are beyond valued by me because they totally accept, and dare I say it, enjoy me for exactly who I am. I definitely try to make people feel welcome and happy and loved, though at times, I am a ponytail-swinging, bull in a china shop. God bless my loved ones, for fucking real, man.
Back to Bruce. For me. It would be a death-like fate to not be able to be myself and feel loved as is. And let me tell you, it takes bravery to be yourself just as a "normal" person with "the average things" going on in your life. It really does. To say what you really feel and love who you really love and hope that everyone gets on board with those things, yet be prepared to press on if they don't, takes strength and fortitude. But to actually realize your soul was born into a body that doesn't feel like home to you?? Holy shit. The inner conflict. I can't even imagine. I can't even conceive of it.
To say I applaud Bruce for having the strength to become Caitlyn is the mother of all understatements. Not only did she make these moves, but in the public eye, in front of the world, on the cover of Vanity Fair in a fucking corset and bodysuit. Slaying. (I am in arguably the best shape of my entire life and I wouldn't pose on the cover of VF in anything less than a photoshopped ball gown.) And for the first time, I didn't cry about Bruce, I was just blown away by Caitlyn. Being elegant, being beautiful, being free. Never has there been a better time than to scream "YAS KWEEN!!"
I don't cry because I'm sad or worried or because I had any particular attachment to Bruce and his physical appearance, but I cry because watching someone free themselves from things that hold them back from their soul's happiness is a profoundly moving sight.
In my life there have been prolonged times of sickness, unrest and unhappiness. Aside for the obvious fucking snake tornadoes of Crohn's Disease, relationships were shitty, jobs were terrible, friendships ended, and those times were really shattering to me. I get that these are pretty common problems to have in life and you just get through them. For me, I think they were hardest because I'm normally a super happy individual. I really am. I'm not one for big mood shifts, I avoid conflict, I don't enjoy negativity at all. I very much shy away from things that don't make me feel good and I trust who I trust and I always have. Secrets don't particularly appeal to me and any time I've had to keep one, it eats at me a little every day. If you have ever told me a secret, there has always been one person I can then tell it to who keeps it safe and it relieves me of the burden whether the secret is good or bad. And that just got me thinking of how utterly suffocating it must have been for Bruce to keep this inside him for so long.
As I have gotten older, I have amassed a large group of totally kick-ass loved ones. Some of these people have come along in the last 5 years, some have been here last 30+ years. I was talking to my mom about it the other day. My thoughts are "Fuck, I am SO lucky to have friends". What I really meant by that was that I am me. I am comfortable in my skin, happy there, really. I don't even know better than to be totally authentic. Sure, I can keep my shit together in formal situations, I can be cordial to people I don't particularly like, but I wouldn't know how to be fake if someone explained it to me. Authenticity comes very natural to me because it has been encouraged from a very young age. The people around me are wonderful and are beyond valued by me because they totally accept, and dare I say it, enjoy me for exactly who I am. I definitely try to make people feel welcome and happy and loved, though at times, I am a ponytail-swinging, bull in a china shop. God bless my loved ones, for fucking real, man.
Back to Bruce. For me. It would be a death-like fate to not be able to be myself and feel loved as is. And let me tell you, it takes bravery to be yourself just as a "normal" person with "the average things" going on in your life. It really does. To say what you really feel and love who you really love and hope that everyone gets on board with those things, yet be prepared to press on if they don't, takes strength and fortitude. But to actually realize your soul was born into a body that doesn't feel like home to you?? Holy shit. The inner conflict. I can't even imagine. I can't even conceive of it.
To say I applaud Bruce for having the strength to become Caitlyn is the mother of all understatements. Not only did she make these moves, but in the public eye, in front of the world, on the cover of Vanity Fair in a fucking corset and bodysuit. Slaying. (I am in arguably the best shape of my entire life and I wouldn't pose on the cover of VF in anything less than a photoshopped ball gown.) And for the first time, I didn't cry about Bruce, I was just blown away by Caitlyn. Being elegant, being beautiful, being free. Never has there been a better time than to scream "YAS KWEEN!!"
Wednesday, May 20, 2015
Still Mad
Totally floored by the ending of Mad Men....even though I didn't originally understand it at all..
I watched twice and I thought the exact same thing: 'Oh wow...Don finally found his happy place and Peggy got her wish to create the next big idea'. I thought Peggy was sitting at the typewriter penning the song for Coke when she got her kiss on the head. And I thought Don was just smiling because the group leader was suggesting they find their next idea or identity and he had thought of his.
I was mistaken. Apparently, Don was actually thinking of the Coke ad, leading us to believe he returned to New York, was taken back in, and proceeded to prove what a fucking baller he was by creating one of the most iconic ads of our lifetime. This created quite the argument in my household. He was all "I imagine Don rocking back into the office like a scene out of a Michael Bay movie, shoving Peggy out of the way and pitching Coke with his new hippie tears rolling down his face". Firstly, I was insulted he added Michael fucking Bay into any sentence that also involved Mad Men. Secondly, I responded that I don't believe Don is a detriment to Peggy or her work and she is sweetly co-dependent with Don. Their relationship has been productive and evolving and truly worthy of a #relationshipgoals label for anyone that has ever sought a complicated and brilliant mentor. He just believes Don is a disgusting person who is terrible at life. I don't believe that. I think Don is an intensely complex person who came from a terrible start in life. People like that scratch and claw an they are survivors. That doesn't make them bad people. I admire people who fuck over their bad odds with how resourceful they can be.
My favorite quote regarding this last scene was "Mad Men makes its final pitch: For Hope". That makes so much sense. Hope to solve the world's problems for just an instant by buying them a Coke. Hope to find love, like Peggy. Hope to get a start at something greater for yourself, like Joan. Hope to finally get it right, like Roger. Hope for second chances, like Pete. And hope for acceptance, like Don. People may disagree with me, but I think Don truly gained a new perspective out there in Big Sur. I'm not saying he won't be the same self-absorbed, philandering drunk we all hate to love, but I don't believe his internal struggles will be as pronounced as before. I think he felt he needed them to be good at his job and I think that little smile was a direct result of realizing he didn't. That he could find peace and art in the same mind where he had so much darkness just a few days before. It's the great struggle for creative types. Are we better when we're sad? Don can find vindication that he doesn't need the pain to be great or powerful.
If you're gifted, you're good. No matter what.
Ugh. I hate that this show is over. The world is so much less cool now. I'm gonna go paint some watercolor pics to feel better.
I watched twice and I thought the exact same thing: 'Oh wow...Don finally found his happy place and Peggy got her wish to create the next big idea'. I thought Peggy was sitting at the typewriter penning the song for Coke when she got her kiss on the head. And I thought Don was just smiling because the group leader was suggesting they find their next idea or identity and he had thought of his.
I was mistaken. Apparently, Don was actually thinking of the Coke ad, leading us to believe he returned to New York, was taken back in, and proceeded to prove what a fucking baller he was by creating one of the most iconic ads of our lifetime. This created quite the argument in my household. He was all "I imagine Don rocking back into the office like a scene out of a Michael Bay movie, shoving Peggy out of the way and pitching Coke with his new hippie tears rolling down his face". Firstly, I was insulted he added Michael fucking Bay into any sentence that also involved Mad Men. Secondly, I responded that I don't believe Don is a detriment to Peggy or her work and she is sweetly co-dependent with Don. Their relationship has been productive and evolving and truly worthy of a #relationshipgoals label for anyone that has ever sought a complicated and brilliant mentor. He just believes Don is a disgusting person who is terrible at life. I don't believe that. I think Don is an intensely complex person who came from a terrible start in life. People like that scratch and claw an they are survivors. That doesn't make them bad people. I admire people who fuck over their bad odds with how resourceful they can be.
My favorite quote regarding this last scene was "Mad Men makes its final pitch: For Hope". That makes so much sense. Hope to solve the world's problems for just an instant by buying them a Coke. Hope to find love, like Peggy. Hope to get a start at something greater for yourself, like Joan. Hope to finally get it right, like Roger. Hope for second chances, like Pete. And hope for acceptance, like Don. People may disagree with me, but I think Don truly gained a new perspective out there in Big Sur. I'm not saying he won't be the same self-absorbed, philandering drunk we all hate to love, but I don't believe his internal struggles will be as pronounced as before. I think he felt he needed them to be good at his job and I think that little smile was a direct result of realizing he didn't. That he could find peace and art in the same mind where he had so much darkness just a few days before. It's the great struggle for creative types. Are we better when we're sad? Don can find vindication that he doesn't need the pain to be great or powerful.
If you're gifted, you're good. No matter what.
Ugh. I hate that this show is over. The world is so much less cool now. I'm gonna go paint some watercolor pics to feel better.
Friday, May 15, 2015
Staying Mad Forever
The imminent conclusion of the show Mad Men is carving a cavern in my heart that I have no idea how to fill!
There have been dramas I have loved, or at best, become addicted to, in my day. Breaking bad, Sons of Anarchy, Scandal (if you can call that a legit drama, more of a soap opera) but none have the magic of Mad Men. Sometimes it all becomes so dark that I am drug down into a hole with the characters. I don't feel that way with this show because even in their darkness, they are so inspiring.
From the writing, to the acting, to the art direction, to the casting, it's truly superb. The way they handle the events of the time period, the fashion, the mentality, the simplicity and the complication.
I just love it. Working in the creative industry, probably one of my very favorite quotes of all time comes from this show....
"We're going to sit at our desks and keep typing while the walls fall down around us because we're creative - the least important, most important thing there is." - Don Draper
There have been dramas I have loved, or at best, become addicted to, in my day. Breaking bad, Sons of Anarchy, Scandal (if you can call that a legit drama, more of a soap opera) but none have the magic of Mad Men. Sometimes it all becomes so dark that I am drug down into a hole with the characters. I don't feel that way with this show because even in their darkness, they are so inspiring.
From the writing, to the acting, to the art direction, to the casting, it's truly superb. The way they handle the events of the time period, the fashion, the mentality, the simplicity and the complication.
I just love it. Working in the creative industry, probably one of my very favorite quotes of all time comes from this show....
"We're going to sit at our desks and keep typing while the walls fall down around us because we're creative - the least important, most important thing there is." - Don Draper
Monday, March 9, 2015
We Can't All Be The Creators Of Broad City
It's kind of awesome when your whole job is to post fun stuff on social media about the things you like best. One would think that is ideal for a little thing like me who fancied herself a lazy bones. The thing is...I'm not a lazy bones. I'm a busy bee.
Not that anything I'm doing is all that groundbreaking as I work for a corporate chain, but can't it be? I have realized that, while using current content and sprucing it up is fun, it would be rad as balls to actually create some content. I mean, I love to stand on the shoulders of reasonably tall people as much as the next guy, but it would be nice to just, like, get a step ladder that I loudly drag across the floor myself. I'm not trying to revolutionize the place, just make its social media pages coveted by those less cool than myself.
I think my first step in content generation will be to whip up some non-offensive memes. I currently have zero in my existing meme folder. After that, drink a bunch of green tea and actually make some nice, motivational ones, but with a little flava to them. Then add in my proposed funny captions and see what kind of response I get back. So far, I'm doing so little and I'm getting CRAZY GOOD feedback and being worshipped and that feels great. Just think of the adoration after I thrust forth my jackpot of self-made shit!
Or I get a sympathetic look and a smile with a little head shake and a "that's not really on brand for US". Either way I win because I'll make an offensive meme out of whatever happens that is sure to bring enjoyment to my friends for days to come.
Not that anything I'm doing is all that groundbreaking as I work for a corporate chain, but can't it be? I have realized that, while using current content and sprucing it up is fun, it would be rad as balls to actually create some content. I mean, I love to stand on the shoulders of reasonably tall people as much as the next guy, but it would be nice to just, like, get a step ladder that I loudly drag across the floor myself. I'm not trying to revolutionize the place, just make its social media pages coveted by those less cool than myself.
I think my first step in content generation will be to whip up some non-offensive memes. I currently have zero in my existing meme folder. After that, drink a bunch of green tea and actually make some nice, motivational ones, but with a little flava to them. Then add in my proposed funny captions and see what kind of response I get back. So far, I'm doing so little and I'm getting CRAZY GOOD feedback and being worshipped and that feels great. Just think of the adoration after I thrust forth my jackpot of self-made shit!
Or I get a sympathetic look and a smile with a little head shake and a "that's not really on brand for US". Either way I win because I'll make an offensive meme out of whatever happens that is sure to bring enjoyment to my friends for days to come.
Friday, March 6, 2015
Focus On The Sunlight
When you are busy hustlin' for your life, so many different things happen at once. You are riding an emotional elevator. I would say roller coaster, but sometimes it's not moving that fast and this is no carnival.
Sometimes the only personal time you get to really enjoy things is like sunshine through blinds and you're trying to put your face in those little strips of light hoping they shower good things upon you. You don't get to be Beyonce all the time. Sometimes you're the person running behind Beyonce with a mic on your head making sure everyone is ready to receive Beyonce. Sometimes you're peacock feathers and other times you're a black turtleneck and that is just the way life is.
That's what makes life rad.
Sometimes the only personal time you get to really enjoy things is like sunshine through blinds and you're trying to put your face in those little strips of light hoping they shower good things upon you. You don't get to be Beyonce all the time. Sometimes you're the person running behind Beyonce with a mic on your head making sure everyone is ready to receive Beyonce. Sometimes you're peacock feathers and other times you're a black turtleneck and that is just the way life is.
That's what makes life rad.
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