What a deep and terrible loss to the world. Robin Williams. I mean, you just had to stare at the guy. It seemed that life shot out of him in a million different ways.
I don't understand mental illness. I really don't. I try, because I know I have friends that suffer from it, but I really fail. I don't understand how you can't make yourself stronger, better. I'm naïve, stubborn and full of myself, so I guess I thank God for that. I truly believe I can fix anything that is wrong with me. Little help from doctors and surgeons and friends at times, of course, but beyond that, I can make myself stronger and better. That's just the way my brain works.
But, I also know how deeply loved I am. Even in moments when I'm pissy and down or feeling lonely even in a big room of people. Even when I'm being bratty. I know that I am loved and cherished beyond what I can even understand and that I am someone's daughter, someone's sister, someone's friend, someone's example, and the love of someone's life and if I hurt, they hurt. I know that's how I feel about my loved ones.
I always felt that I was put on this earth to make people laugh, make them feel cared about, make them smile, take care of them, make sure they know that someone thinks about them even if they don't hear it every day. I avoid what feels bad to me and I soak in love and laughter like a human sponge. I can't get or give enough love. I really can't. I'm not always graceful about it as I have a lot of my mother in me, but I feel it at all times.
And I'm not one to put my sadness out there all the time for the masses on social media or anything, but when I'm sad I just say it out loud. "I'm so sad right now". Something about saying it, to someone, in the room with you, really releases it from you. And that friend will either be like "Get your shit together" or they'll say "I know you are, I am too, it will get better.". And it does a little in that moment. And I instantly feel that.
If you're sad, tell someone. Because there are a lot of people like me in the world that will want to help you feel better. Or at the very least, (if I'm having a day that I'm more like my mother than my father) we'll tell you to get your shit together. It is a true miracle that we are all even here, walking around, so be kind to each other and support each other and put as much happiness into each other as you can because it's truly all that matters. At the end of it all, nobody is going to give a single fuck about what you had or how cool you thought you were, they're going to remember how you made them feel. Give yourself away, freely, openly. Fall in love with as many people, places and things as possible because we are here for a blink. Make it a good blink.
