I finally did it. I finally visited New York.
No work, no agenda, nothing to do but soak in the city with two of my best friends. I will never forget looking out the plane window and instantly recognizing the shape of Manhattan and the only light being the glare from the rising sun bouncing off the Freedom Tower. It was a major moment.
I really found it to be a louder, more crowded, more aggressive, more diverse, chicer version of Chicago. WHICH IS FANTASTIC. Don't get me wrong, I love Chicago intensely, but it's almost a 3rd home for me at this point, I can navigate it with ease.
New York felt new and scary and overwhelming. I love still getting that feeling as an adult. Sometimes you don't know if anything can shock you, intimidate you, or impress you anymore. Good to know how wrong I was.
I don't know that I have what it takes to be a true New Yorker; I'm far too sentimental. I do envy them though, they're tough. It's a humbling place that makes LA look like an elementary school play. It's pushy and angled and harsh and smelly and bustling and smart-assed and hypocritical and snobby and packed yet accepting of you, no matter what you want to be. Unless you want to be a little bitch and walk slowly.
Obviously, I loved it. I'm already looking at plane tickets to return.
Monday, October 21, 2013
Tuesday, October 15, 2013
INDCP
I think about my Grandma all the time.
It's really incredibly strange to think I haven't seen her in 16 years because she is as clear as can be in my head. I remember her skin and her hair, the texture of both. I remember what holding her hand felt like. I remember she smelled like Oil of Olay and Lancôme Tresor. I remember her facial expressions and her smile and her laugh. Man, she got mad at me a lot when I was a teenager!
It's weird that when I think of her, little specific moments come to my head. Her in her white shorts. Her sitting at the kitchen table writing in her journal. Mostly, I remember her standing against the front wall of Menard's waiting to pick me up from work one day. That always sticks out and I can't figure out why. Maybe because it was one of the last times I saw her.
She was so petite and proper and the best caretaker in the world. I think of her all the time now when I get into bed with dirty feet or talk too much on the phone or do anything in general that she disliked.
A few days ago, I stood in a window with a mirror and tweezers to pluck at my face and I stopped in my tracks because I remember her doing exactly the same thing. I was even holding them at exactly the same angles that she used to. Sometimes I wonder if that means I'm programmed just like her. She hadn't had children by my age either. Maybe that's why I don't. Maybe I'll follow her exactly and I'll be a good caretaker and I'll be calm in my old age and I'll think of everyone else before myself. I'll worry too much and I'll obsess about my hair and clean sheets. I'll constantly play cards, make really good chili and tell my grand kids I love them and they need to slow down more.
Sounds about right. I hope.
It's really incredibly strange to think I haven't seen her in 16 years because she is as clear as can be in my head. I remember her skin and her hair, the texture of both. I remember what holding her hand felt like. I remember she smelled like Oil of Olay and Lancôme Tresor. I remember her facial expressions and her smile and her laugh. Man, she got mad at me a lot when I was a teenager!
It's weird that when I think of her, little specific moments come to my head. Her in her white shorts. Her sitting at the kitchen table writing in her journal. Mostly, I remember her standing against the front wall of Menard's waiting to pick me up from work one day. That always sticks out and I can't figure out why. Maybe because it was one of the last times I saw her.
She was so petite and proper and the best caretaker in the world. I think of her all the time now when I get into bed with dirty feet or talk too much on the phone or do anything in general that she disliked.
A few days ago, I stood in a window with a mirror and tweezers to pluck at my face and I stopped in my tracks because I remember her doing exactly the same thing. I was even holding them at exactly the same angles that she used to. Sometimes I wonder if that means I'm programmed just like her. She hadn't had children by my age either. Maybe that's why I don't. Maybe I'll follow her exactly and I'll be a good caretaker and I'll be calm in my old age and I'll think of everyone else before myself. I'll worry too much and I'll obsess about my hair and clean sheets. I'll constantly play cards, make really good chili and tell my grand kids I love them and they need to slow down more.
Sounds about right. I hope.
Monday, October 7, 2013
She Makes Me Wanna Work, B*tch
Can we PLEASE talk about Britney being back in actch??!!
I mean. I almost can't deal. I need to make a list to organize my thoughts.
1. Her song sounds fresh with techno-newness, but it's still "so Britney" as well.
2. She's totally back into the phase where she wears statement t's, sweats and the high blond ponytail everywhere she goes just in case there's an impromptu dance rehearsal.
3. Now on to the video....can we just? I mean.
4. There's totes a twinkle in her eye during the dance routine parts. You can tell she missed organized dancing with other simple bitches behind her SO MUCH.
5. Her bod looks super legit for someone with two kids that once survived on only Cheetos and Frappuccinos. (not that there's anything wrong with that)
6. When she's between the two white walls and she sinks her booty down and does the really fast "turning my head to the side to look away from you" thing. So Brit.
7. When she's kneeling down in the shark pool with the pink dress on and she arches her back and tilts her head off to the side while singing "keep it movin higher" and also conveying that she gets you think she's sexy, but she needs to sing right now. So. Fucking. Brit.
8. When she gives the sexy death stare right into the camera, leaving you wondering how you can pledge your soul to her for safe keeping and naughty time as well. SO FUCKING BRITNEY, YOU GUYS!
9. It seems like forever ago when I had to write her an open letter begging her to get her shit together and now there are memes about how "If Britney could survive 2007, I can get through Thursday", you know what I mean? It's not just a comeback, it's a super-crazy sexy "I never left, whores" all up in your face.
10. I can't WAIT until MTV starts whipping up Britney specials for us to watch the glory of rehearsals and prep for her Vegas show.
I mean. I almost can't deal. I need to make a list to organize my thoughts.
1. Her song sounds fresh with techno-newness, but it's still "so Britney" as well.
2. She's totally back into the phase where she wears statement t's, sweats and the high blond ponytail everywhere she goes just in case there's an impromptu dance rehearsal.
3. Now on to the video....can we just? I mean.
4. There's totes a twinkle in her eye during the dance routine parts. You can tell she missed organized dancing with other simple bitches behind her SO MUCH.
5. Her bod looks super legit for someone with two kids that once survived on only Cheetos and Frappuccinos. (not that there's anything wrong with that)
6. When she's between the two white walls and she sinks her booty down and does the really fast "turning my head to the side to look away from you" thing. So Brit.
7. When she's kneeling down in the shark pool with the pink dress on and she arches her back and tilts her head off to the side while singing "keep it movin higher" and also conveying that she gets you think she's sexy, but she needs to sing right now. So. Fucking. Brit.
8. When she gives the sexy death stare right into the camera, leaving you wondering how you can pledge your soul to her for safe keeping and naughty time as well. SO FUCKING BRITNEY, YOU GUYS!
9. It seems like forever ago when I had to write her an open letter begging her to get her shit together and now there are memes about how "If Britney could survive 2007, I can get through Thursday", you know what I mean? It's not just a comeback, it's a super-crazy sexy "I never left, whores" all up in your face.
10. I can't WAIT until MTV starts whipping up Britney specials for us to watch the glory of rehearsals and prep for her Vegas show.
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