My Only Sunshine

1. I am so fascinated with the amount of fast food I see eaten at my work. I don't know exactly why, but it has something to do with the gobs of money I see spent on utter shit just from 8-5 on week days by ONE person. I was quite generous in my number crunching and I have figured out she spends a minimum of $165.00 a month. That's 41.25 a week. On just what I see her buy for herself from 8-5. And I low-balled bigtime. I spend that much in groceries (including shampoo, toothpaste, etc) for breakfast, lunch and dinner and I eat very healthy. I just... ugh. It's her body, but I'm the one that has to smell the Arby's.

2. Pinterest. I don't even know why I like it so much! I wish I didn't. No, I'm glad I do. No, wait... I wish I could like it a little less. Maybe.

3. Dear Target, get rid of the gourmet trail mix, because that shit gets me every time. And I read the calories finally. Yikers.

4. I don't understand how Jessica Simpson is still pregnant... it has been like a year and a half I swear. Maybe it's just water weight and fried chicken?

5. I have come to realize I have a Steven Tyler level scarf dependency. And I don't plan to seek help for it any time soon.

6. My Dad calls me an average of 3 times a week. He does it at night when he's UPSing it all over the Midwest and he thinks his bluetooth is magic. He tells me about his life, he asks me about mine. He's basically obsessed with me and thinks the sun rises and sets out of my ass. Yet... he still took the time to send me a card, in addition to my birthday card, with a dad twirling a little girl dancing that explained how "sometimes we forget to say the little things like how proud I am of you and how special you are". Complete with a great verse from 1 Corinthians at the bottom. Man, I love that guy.

7. I recently acquired a tub of Hope In A Jar. I think it's ok and was thrilled about the name until I went to look at the review online and now there's a product by the same company called When Hope Isn't Enough. Well... fuck. How will I know?

8. Winnie was here on Saturday night just giving me all her furry cuteness. When we had both fallen asleep on the couch watching Jersey Shore, I tried to put her in my bed without taking her out. She stared me right down and pissed on her sleepy blanket. Guess that showed me.

9. I wonder if there's a time when I will feel that I am "too old" for glittery nail polish. I hope not.

10. Today is my late Grandmother's birthday. I wonder, if she had lived long enough where my family was given the option to put her brain in a robot so she could live on forever as a cyborg if we would have taken the doctors up on that. Because I miss her so much, and wish I could have her advice on things, and think about her all the time and I bet she would be really proud that I finally learned to cook, iron and "wash myself properly". She was my sunshine.

I'm Finally Cool Enough!!

So, lots of cool stuff happened this week, but it all pretty much pales in comparison to

FINALLY GETTING MY PINTEREST APPROVAL.

Good bye facebook. You are for people who want friendship and communication. I want recipes, nail art ideas, work out plans, cheesy/love/religious quotes, and pictures of baby otters.

(Kidding. I have to keep up on tagged pictures of myself.)

Oh, Hi There. Nice To Re Me Me Me Me Meet You!

... it's been over a month. But I feel like it's been over a year. Am I right? AMIRIGHT??

So, you know, flip flop whatever. I've still just been strolling the mean streets of Ohio. Being a bad ass, taking less than zero shit. Oh wait... no, I'm still working at the most terrible job on the planet and a 22 year old waitress guilted me into possibly going out past 11 tomorrow to see a shitty band 9 miles away because it's her last week in this town. But, other than that, I've been a regular Optimus Prime.

I don't really have anything noteworthy to write about (praise Jeebus and Tebow), I just figure this is a good time to get re-acquainted. Shall we?

Stuff I been eatin': All healthy. Cottage cheese, shit tons of salad, ass loads of veggies, salmon, yogurt, naners, maters, almonds & pecans (when I can afford them), then I go home for Christmas, and now all that stuff, plus fist-fulls of chex mix and seemingly endless boxes of Russell Stover chocolates.

Stuff I been wearin': All my fluffy scarves, my rebel with a cause fake leather when it's above 35 degrees, lots of belts (on account of all the salads) and short or mid-calf boots. I been feelin' them, ya'll (I've also been talking like a rapper and/or hillbilly whenever possible). They some how A) make my legs look longer and B) make me look like I care about trends. But truthfully, I just got tired of not being able to jam skinny jeans in knee-high boots. It's a burden when you have lust-inducing shapely calves like myself.

Stuff I been readin': That Dragon Tattoo Girl series (you know). Don't read this book or see this movie if you're not into learning how fucked up and pervy people (and writers) can truly be. I never thought I would miss the powdery innocence of the True Blood books. Yeesh.

Stuff I been watchin': Revenge, Hart of Dixie (Tebow forgive me), Pretty Little Liars, The League, Always Sunny, Vampire Diaries, Toddlers & Tiaras, Secret Circle, Real Housewives of Atlanta... you know, all the really hard-hitting, political stuff.

Stuff I been hearin': I'm in a crazy U2 phase, Drake, Rihanna, Coldplay, Grouplove, David Guetta, White Panda, Broken Bells, Miranda Lambert, Florence + The Machine, and I can't help but wish that little skank Selena Gomez stays on re p p p p peat sometimes. I'm really liking it all. I have even recently learned to play like 6 whole notes on an electric guitar so WATCH OUT, SLASH.

That pretty much sums it up for now. But tonight I joined Pinterest so stay tuned. I've been informed by my 21 year old niece "It will change your fucking LIFE". And since she and I were wearing the same glittery nail polish when she said that, I know it's true.

It's a new year! The YEAR OF MIS. (My horoscope yearly overview said so, dudes)