It's been so long since I blogged that the site locked me out and acted like it didn't fucking remember me. NOT COOL. Really, not cool on my part. You get one boyfriend, a new job, a half-ass other boyfriend, move to a new city and state and you just forget your internet diary, man. I'll try to be better.
I don't have anything particularly awesome to speak on so I figured I'd just ramble for a few minutes, you know, to get the juices back to flowing. 'Spose I'll just.... list some recent observations of mine.
1. I need a pedicure to kick off the summer. My toes are just all fucked up, I don't even have a funny way to describe them.
2. I keep seeing random people rollerblading. Is that a thing again? Or do I have pot brownie flashbacks?
3. The Taco Bell Cantina menu is better than expected.
4. I'm one of those girls that now thinks about cute work out clothes for Pure Barre, but I'm not yet one of those girls who will spend $90 on yoga tights. I'll stick to the kind at JT Maxx.
5. I'm having a desperate love affair with TJ Maxx. And Marshall's. And HomeGoods.
6. My butt muscles have grown to the point where I need to start shopping for different brands of jeans that allow for more booty room. If not, my existing jeans yield to my glutes and pull back on my vag camel toe style. It's unfortunate.
7. I decided to go for a run/walk on the river trail tonight. Ran 3 blocks there, took 4 steps into the woods, immediately got 5 mosquito bites, went back home to shower and call it a day.
8. I want to eat ice pops. But they're just sugary water.
9. I also want ice cream. But it makes instant fat dimples on thighs.
10. Adult acne is the worst.
11. If I'm PMSing and my nail polish chips, I could literally fly into a rage or bawl my eyes out. Or both. Or eat a bowl of ice cream and feel better.
12. I thought seriously for the very first time a few days ago about wanting a dog. Then I spent the last $20 I had on a blouse, realized I would still do that even if my dog needed food, started drinking and stopped thinking about that.
13. I don't understand how restaurants keep their cooked chicken so soft and mine gets hard.... I don't get it.
14. Belly fat is really as hard to get rid of as all the magazines claim. Those fuckers. I want to walk around to every girl chugging beer and McDonald's on Michigan State's campus and smack it out of her hand with the warning "You have NO idea how hard it will be to stay in shape in 10-13 years. Don't eat this!"
15. Man, McDonald's sounds weirdly good, even after that rant. Fucking PMS.
