Goonies Never Say Die! Even As Grown Ups

You know, I remember being in my very young 20's and thinking "Man, it's going to really suck to grow up because you never get to sleep at a friend's house again, you don't get to have boyfriends, you have to wear loose capris and chunky sandals to be respected, you have to eat macaroni salad and gain a bunch of weight around your elbows....all this stuff blows".  I truly pre-mourned everything I loved about being young. The very Midwest, country, conventional ideas of being a "grown up" made me sad, but seemed inevitable.

I did NOT think that at 38 years old, my friends would all be highly respected individuals who still want to plan bi-weekly biking pub crawls around our city while singing songs from Now And Then and Goonies.  I didn't think we would all be meeting up on Sunday nights after a long day of boozy brunching to yell at the tv during the scary parts of Game of Thrones. I hoped we would be having in-depth conversations about race relations, music, art, our favorite cheese shops, but I didn't think we'd be having them while drinking sneaky Straw-Ber-Itas with our toes in the sand on a man-made beach in the middle of the city while someone performs a cover of Uptown Funk on a stage by the Campus Martius fountain. The black tie events we regularly attend are fabulous, but 100% better than I ever imagined as we usually uber there from a pre-party with flasks full of bourbon and sour straws in our clutches while laughing the whole way.

I always imagined a loving, stable, content (boring) relationship that I made the most of by lodging some ill-timed arguments and taking absolute and total control over a man's soul and checkbook while wearing a big ol diamond. I certainly never imagined I'd actually end up in a movie theater getting my thong ripped off under my skirt because we're both really bored with the newest Mad Max movie. Then getting fucked over the hood of the Benz in the driveway for outdoor fun because the blowjob with the top down was merely child's play. I did not foresee these things in my future as "an adult".  Man, do I love it when I'm wrong.