Resolutions Are For Assholes

I'm not really one for resolutions anymore. It's just setting yourself up for utter fail hards. I do like to think about where I was that time the previous year and I have marveled at how much better some things are. And that's what it's really about. Better shit! Best you can do is hope for the best. That's a fucking bumper sticker right there. Here's what I think....


This is the year I:

- Get a different job and move away from Ohio.
- Finish 2 entire scripts.
- Let my hair grow Kardashian long.
- Keep my ass from getting Kardashian fat.
- Let myself cry every time I feel moved to tears. (in a happy way)
- Try to be a better friend, daughter, sister, aunt, and if it comes my way, girlfriend.
- Look at my day planner at least once a week for ALL 52 weeks of the year.
- Give away at least a quarter of my clothes. I mean it.
- Buy and wear more heels. I mean that too.
- Stop. Destroying. My. Cuticles. I stopped biting my nails, I can DO this.


This is the year I really try to:

- Do at least 5 minutes of SOME sort of working out EVERY day.
- Keep mail and paperwork and bills organized. (I did decent last year. Not great. Decent)
- Make it an even better Summer than last. May be impossible!
- Put at least $5 in my savings account from every check. I mean... that's less than Chipotle.
- Eat more fruit. I really need to do that. I'm going to get scurvy.
- Drink more red wine. It's so good for you!
- Give the "really nice guy" a second glance.
- Smile and hum one line of a song every morning I wake up. Even if I want to cry and be mute.
- See more live music. Even the shitty bands.
- Say the word FUCK less.

This could be the year I:

- Meet the guy I'm going to marry. Who then divorces me.
- Don't overdraw my checking account buying a burrito bowl or Starbucks.
- Get a bunny!
- Get knocked up! By Landon Donovan!
- Stop loving Vampire themed shit.
- Get that armpit lypo I've always wanted.
- Find my Coldplay Rush of Blood to the Head CD.
- Don't pass out drunk on the 4th of July.
- Complete The Pounder challenge at the Sarnie Shoppe. Without barfing.
- Totally figure life out.

Ah, hope. Gotta love it! And January 1st always gives you a nice big dose.