We've had an amazing 22 months together. That's longer than some marriages. A 22 month old child can run around and call you names already.
You didn't do anything that terrible to me. You were a great phone. You stood by me when everyone called you names and me an idiot for buying you. You faithfully woke me up with that terribly annoying, high-pitched, bullshit alarm. Even on the mornings I was still ass over tea kettle from the night before.
You lit up my life with the trolley bell for every text, letting me know how popular and adored I am. What if the new phone doesn't have that noise? How will I know what the fuck is going on?
You took super flattering pictures of my cleavage to text out to randoms when I had too many Coors Lights. Just the right amount of pixels to make me look sweet, but sexy.
Even after all the times I have dropped you getting out of the car or threw you across the room because I was sick of being texted (ugh, just so popular). All those times I ignored a call or text and then lied and said you didn't receive it..you kept the secrets... you stood by me.
I took your trusty plastic cover off yesterday so you can spend your last few days of service sleek and free and pretty. Like brushing a dog every day until it's dirt nap vet appointment arrives.
I want you to know that green phone will never mean as much to me as you did.
Unless it's better than you. In which case, I never liked you.
Let's just make these last few days special. So stop turning yourself off and back on like an asshole.
xoxoxox
No comments:
Post a Comment