You know... just some random shit I've been thinking about.
1. The pet fish I bought for someone, then they had me babysit while they were out of town, then they never came and picked up are still on my kitchen table. I thought about flushing them, but they swim really fast in a circle every night when I get home and turn the light on. They.... have brains. I can't do it. Even if they did each just cost 28 cents. I can't have their last thoughts be "That BITCH!"
2. I am clearly watching too much porn. I have dreams that I am in a porn almost every night now. Even when I'm just in the background, it's totally disturbing and I'm taking a hiatus from it. Though... Monday night it turned from porn to me being in True Blood which worked out quite well. Still... I gotta quit. Just for a little bit.
3. I have taken hair worship to a whole new level with the purchase of an Infinity curling iron that gives me giant, doll-like waves. It's pretty spectacular.
4. I'm really sick of the typically creepy janitor at my work coming every day an hour early. I'm also sick of him peering into my office door every time he walks by in that hour. I'm also sick of when I close my door so I don't have to see his snaggle-toothed face, he opens it without knocking, pretending to not know I'm here EVERY week day until 5:00pm. I feel like I should start forming a plot to kill him before he drops me into a well in his basement.
5. I just bought a green (the color AND the philosophy) phone that claims to be made of mostly recycled plastic so I feel like I can keep throwing away pop cans. You're welcome, Earth.
6. I wish I would have met and married Jason Bateman about 8 years ago. If anyone has a time machine, remind me that this would be what I would change.
7. I lost one of my black flats. Now, this means I have lost my favorite brown flip flops and one half of my second most worn pair of shoes. I blame the janitor.
8. My Mom keeps trying to tell me that I told her I was going to quit drinking. Fat chance, lady! What the hell are you talking about? I'm sure that at the end of Summer (while drunk) I told her that I would slow down in Fall and Winter. Which I have. Drastically. This is only because I hate the cold and I'm too lazy to go out in the snow to get booze when the top of my fridge is covered with bottles of it. It's just luck that she happens to call on Sunday mornings when I'm hung over so she thinks I'm that drunk every day. Get with the program Mom, it's gonna get a lot worse when Spring rolls back around.
9. I am fearing I have become a hoarder. I have SO much clothing. I don't think about it until someone comes to my house who I know also has a lot and freaks out saying they've never seen so many clothes. I really need to start packing it up and actually get rid of the bags. Not just take them to the basement and then months later, decide I need all that shit again. (This doesn't mean I don't want those brown flip flops and that black flat back though, so if you find those, tell me. )
10. I feel like watching some porn. *sigh*
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