Wow. Just when I thought life couldn't betray me any more than it already has.... this happens.
Glee is one of my favorite shows. I think pretty much everything about it is wonderful and amazing. Now I see they have decided to do an episode about a subject that anyone who reads this or has met me knows I absolutely can not deal with. Zombies. Why? Does Ryan Murphy read this blog and have a personal vendetta against me or something? I know part of it is "Thriller" themed, so I suppose zombies are somewhat necessary, but man, come on. This feels like a direct kick to the vagina. I mean, I'm still going to watch, but there are not enough smiley show tunes or MJ superjams on the planet to lighten up a zombie episode for me.
Cracked.com posted this hilarious article http://www.cracked.com/article_18683_7-scientific-reasons-zombie-outbreak-would-fail-quickly.html?wa_user1=1&wa_user2=Science&wa_user3=article&wa_user4=moreon , which made me feel slightly better, but the thing is, they left out the zombies from the movie I Am Legend and even from 28 Days Later. So... what of them? What if they are fast and can somewhat reason. Ugh, now my brain is just spiralling off in doomy directions.
You may ask, "why are you so afraid of zombies, but seemingly super horny for vampires and some werewolves?". Well, here's why. Have you ever seen an attractive zombie? No. Even a little skin falling off Robert Pattinson would make me recoil instead of tearing off his already shredded zombie clothing. Even though the zombies in I Am Legend are pretty cut with nice arms, they haven't even thought about showering in months because they've been too busy feasting on human flesh. Oh, vampires do the same? Yeah, well if you know anything, vampires are also apparently amazing in the sack so at the very least, I get the bone of my life before nosferatu drains my ass dry. At my age, I may actually trade my life for an other-worldly fuck sesh, even if it is with a member of the undead. Hey, at least I went out with a bang.
Get it? Get it?!?
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