LANDON DONOVAN FINALLY FILED FOR DIVORCE!! I mean, they have only been separated for over a year. No time like the present. Now that we'll be able to go public with our love, I hope he stops banging English chicks when on loan to Everton. Also, he should probably cover up that stupid humming bird tat with my face asap as it signifies monogamy and we know he could and did not live up to that ideal (as no man alive can).
I'm also hoping he didn't finally pull this trigger because he has other tail waiting on the sidelines. We all know how men love to juggle. I've got a few flaming batons in the air myself, so I'm not TOO mad at Lannycakes, but enough is enough. I think we should finally stop loaning each other out to foreign clubs, commit to one team (the team of love, duh), and start practicing our epic righty twine snipe celli into the future together.
Before I run home to start packing my shit to move back to LA, here's a little photo tribute to the only man with a receding hairline and brown eyes that I could ever possibly love. You're welcome.
Just being super fast, no big deal.
Scoring the most American goal ever.
"fffffffuck yes, I'll live in sin with you forever!"
Shirtless All-Star
If there's something dreamier than him on the beach in a white T...
"Deuces ladies, I'm a one loud-mouthed Irish girl kinda guy now."
"Maybe you should come snuggle..."
He's not that hot...
ReplyDeleteI can believe Matt and Alicia said this... but not Amelia. Not Amelia.
ReplyDelete