RAAAAAAAAAAANT

I know a woman with a full time job (where she is a manager), husband, two dogs that also teaches Pure Barre. Yesterday, she told me a story about a girl that works under her having a meltdown and running out of the building covering her ears and shouting that she "can't take it anymore!". She became concerned that something was terribly wrong with the girl and asked a co-worker to check on her. Said girl, called the co-worker back and said she "preferred to speak through her exclusively" and that she just found the job "too stressful at the moment" and that her manager (the woman I know) was "mean, I don't like the way she talks to me" and so on and so forth. She said that she'd like to keep her job, but she wants to be treated differently and gentler. To my relief at hearing this story, I learned they were like fuck that, and called her back to give her an exit interview and inform her that leaving work in that fashion is a resignation. I applaud them. Because this person would do something similar again. I call it "emotional terrorism". People who do things over and over again to manipulate people in such a way to make the emotional current of every situation exactly what they want it to be.

We ALL freak out to an extent. We have our moments, our days, our weeks, whatever. And there are some people who do this, but genuinely realize it, are trying to stop it, and apologize and correct their actions. It's a one or two time event with them and they fix the issue. If it was learned as a child, it probably takes a long time to grow out of.  BUT I'm telling you, I have noticed a pattern in the people that do this on the regular as a way of life. The following are my findings:

1. Often younger. I think around 27 and on down. The "What's In It For Me" generation. They grew up with cell phones, the internet, everything ready and at their fingertips with the click of a mouse. They don't understand the lack of instant gratification and they won't stand for it. Also, when you're in your twenties, you really think you have shit figured out. Until you turn about 32 and cringe at the thought of how very wrong your younger self actually was.

2. Only children. This is particularly bad with only children because they were never put in an all-the-time sharing situation from birth. Your personality develops pretty early. When you are forced to realize the world doesn't revolve around just you, it can be hard. You have to learn to deal with someone else receiving attention or things you didn't receive. But, you love this person, so you learn to also share with them and champion them and cope. Also, when you are left in charge or under the charge of a sibling, you learn responsibility, consequence, compassion in a very specific way that you don't learn at school. It's an important dynamic.

3. The youngest child in the family. This can coincide with #1 because they may have been born in a more convenience-based time, but there's also something to be said for the parents just being at the end of their ropes, and after stressing out about the older children, they're ready for an emotional break and they just sort of let the last one do whatever. These sad individuals are never wrong. They usually grow up with zero understanding of their shortcomings and an incapability to admit they even have any. It's always the fault of someone else. Anyone else. Just not theirs. And people should help them. With everything. They've earned it simply by....being.

4.  People who haven't faced much adversity. Whether it was having a wealthy family, perfect health, being naturally good at most things, if you don't face any adversity in your life or nobody teaches you that at some point you will, the first time you come in contact with it, you don't know how to react. If you didn't learn it as a child, as an adult, you may handle it like a child. I also call this "Every kid on the team gets a trophy" syndrome.

Everyone on the team does not deserve a trophy just for showing up. People don't deserve to be handled with kid gloves just because they're sensitive. The world owes you nothing. Not one minute on this planet is guaranteed to you. It is a miracle you get to breathe in and out every day. It's an even bigger miracle if you were born and stay healthy. Just because someone opposes you, challenges you, pushes you, does not make them insensitive or bad or, my personal favorite "out to get you". They are providing you with a very valuable service which will build your character and skill set.  Even if they ARE assholes, the world is full of them, so get used to it and learn how to handle it gracefully. Stay away from the people that really make you feel bad, but if you look around and suddenly find no one, maybe it's time to examine yourself, the way you're handle things, and your tolerance threshold. Sometimes, you have to communicate things to people that aren't all that pleasant or you have to hear things that are even less so, and you know what? That's life. That's communication. And people don't always tell us what we'd like to hear. It's good for us. It's just as large a part of what makes us strong, capable people as when someone loves and supports us.

If I'm not doing my job, I'm not contributing to a team, I'm making people's lives harder, I get asked to bounce, that's ON ME. Even if I truly feel I gave it 100% and did nothing wrong? Still ON ME. It's on me to pick up those pieces and move forward understanding that it's life and life isn't fair. It is what it is. Keep moving.

Breathe deep, put a helmet on, don't take things personal, hear things with a positive, curious, compassionate mind, realize that all you can control is yourself, learn that you only get one body so take care of it. Remember the world owes you nothing so take everything you do receive as a big ol blessing. You actually owe it to yourself to be the best version of yourself and ask what YOU can give back. What can YOU contribute? What can YOU do for yourself to make YOU a more vital person?

And if you expect a trophy from me for just showing up, I'll give you one all right. I'll shove a trophy so far up your lazy ass it busts out your dumb skull. 

Have a nice day :)