I Can Not Hold It. I Can Not Control It

I'm not really feeling work this week.  Its uninspiring and stressful and monotonous all at the same time. Killer combo.

In an effort to inspire myself to "do better" as my friend Tony would say, I decided to watch some old school Britney videos on youtube to get me moving. Um.... yeah, that didn't do the trick. It did make me want to move, but pretty much move out of the building.

"Everytime" made me a little sad, as it always does, because it's a song about longing and regret that you can almost feel when you hear it. Sadney wrote this and Sadney is my least fave Brit. I'll take pink wig Brit over that. But, whatever, it made me want to be in a yoga class making my muscles long and lean and breathing into stretches and staring out the window at sunshine as I do it. I was leaning back over my chair stretching my arms and hearing my Pure Barre instructor in my head saying "let your head fall back, reach for the corner of the room, close your eyes and breathe". Made me feel relaxed and awesome. I decided to press on.

I looked up "Overprotected", but it was the original. I watched that video just because, but everyone in the world understands it's inferior to the Darkchild Remix/Chris Applebaum version. Once I put that on, I wanted to do plenty of things. None of which involve my job.  I wanted to see how many push ups I could do in a row, then follow regular form up with tricep on my knees and see how low I could go and how many times. I forgot all about the dancers doing the splits in that video as well, so I wanted to also work hamstrings and calves and then turn the heat up in the room and continuously ground stretch until I could prop myself up in the splits.

Figured I should keep going, so I watched "I'm A Slave 4 U" several times. That just reminded me how good Francis Lawrence was at music videos and how fantastic Wade Robson was at choreography and ruining relationships. Also, I realized that may have been the best Britney's body ever looked. So fucking sexy. Which, obviously, made me want to go to Pure Barre. But also to be at Goodnight Gracie dancing allllll night long while spilling my Moscow Mule all over everyone and giving zero fucks. Just getting low and grinding and rolling and singing until I'm borderline blackout. Followed, of course, by exhausting drunk sex. The kind of night I absolutely love. (I also realized that a mash up of "I'm A Slave 4 U" and "Sweater Weather" by the Neighbourhood would not only work, but blow my mind in a very, very, very good way)

That got me thinking about mash ups and so I had to watch the live performance of Kendrick Lamar and what's their names singing "Radioactive" which got me PUMPED like no other. That made me want to do sprints, get stretched out, shower, then have more sex. "Turn Down For What" came on after and that made me want to go dancing again. I mean... it's a vicious cycle. My brain is not sedentary. It just isn't.

I think the moral of this twisted story is that I'd rather be working out, dancing or fucking (or writing, clearly) than doing anything else. Especially my job. If I had the guts, I would apply to be a girl that teaches pole class. I could then combine everything I love in one to make money! Well, not the sex part. I'd have to do that on my lunch.