I am a girl. This means it is basically my job to thoroughly enjoy and possibly even find meaning in some really shitty movies.
One of these mindless masterpieces is Coyote Ugly. Every time it's on tv I must watch. I even felt compelled to text Duck's Mom to let her know and she immediately set her TiVo to record it. At the time it came out, it caused me to constantly sing Can't Fight The Moonlight, and believe I could get away with wearing my leather pants way too often. (I lived in LA and my boyfriend in Palm Springs. Not ideal climates for leather)
Now that I'm a "grown up", my leather pants are packed away in a tub along with my bedazzled half shirts for my kids to make fun of. When I watched it last night, all I could think about was why, during the Fleet Week crazy busy time where all the drunken sailors are freaking out and people are trying to jump over the bar for drinks, aren't the girls just coming down to GET them their drinks instead of still dancing on the fucking bar?? I mean, that's just bad business. I appreciate associates around in Gap to help me find size 6 ballet flats, but if they're off folding $40 t shirts when I get to the register to pay, I'm gonna be annoyed. I mean, maybe the slutty blond one wouldn't have been practically sexually assaulted by a bunch of seamen if Lil had trained her staff better. Though, in turn, Jersey would not have had the chance to showcase her amazing vocal stylings along to the juke box. Which was playing Blondie. I mean, if she had wailed along to some Celine Dion, I would be impressed, but Blondie would never stop me from raping a pantyless bartender in a barely there leather skirt if I were a Naval officer on dry land for the first time in months.
Just sayin.
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