After behaving like a normal person and eating a lovely, fresh dinner and catching up on my favorite show I was feeling really accomplished and productive so I decided to cut up an apple for my sugar fix.
I could physically not put one inch of the apple into my mouth without a slice of brie on it. The apple became a meaningless vessel to transport more white gold into my gullet.
The obsession continues....
Wednesday, April 9, 2014
Tuesday, April 8, 2014
Brie. It's What's For Dinner.
I can't stop with the brie. I literally can't stop.
I have been eating more brie than I believe is healthy for any human, but I don't get tired of it. I don't even really have the taste for anything else. Every time I'm asked "what sounds good for dinner?" the look of shame that creeps across my face prompts a sigh and then "I know... brie. You can't just eat brie and fig jam for every meal!" but....I can. And I do when I'm at home.
You know, it's not my fault its so good. I'm not to blame for the sweet, creamy goodness that is heavenly both warmed or cold. I don't want to apologize for enjoying a substance that tastes fantastic with every kind of cracker and bread available to man. (but best with Trader Joe's rosemary crisps)
I really blame this on my taste buds changing. I guess it's more my palate. I know this because my smell preferences are also fluctuating right now. Where I normally wear very heavily scented lotion, I prefer fragrance free or my lavender and honey scent. I also normally prefer VERY heavy perfume like Lancôme La Vie Est Belle (full of iris and patchouli), but I have recently been wearing Dolce and Gabbana The One which mostly smells like Vetiver to me. It's powdery and very ladylike, not what I usually choose at all. I normally smell like a baby prostitute.
Anyway, back to the Brie. Did you know they also sell it in a little log?! So much easier to slice up for crackers and bread, but when I picked it up in the grocery store the other day, the look of disapproval I was given cut me deep. Not deep enough, apparently, because I still bought that stick of yum.
Brie, you guys. Brie.
I have been eating more brie than I believe is healthy for any human, but I don't get tired of it. I don't even really have the taste for anything else. Every time I'm asked "what sounds good for dinner?" the look of shame that creeps across my face prompts a sigh and then "I know... brie. You can't just eat brie and fig jam for every meal!" but....I can. And I do when I'm at home.
You know, it's not my fault its so good. I'm not to blame for the sweet, creamy goodness that is heavenly both warmed or cold. I don't want to apologize for enjoying a substance that tastes fantastic with every kind of cracker and bread available to man. (but best with Trader Joe's rosemary crisps)
I really blame this on my taste buds changing. I guess it's more my palate. I know this because my smell preferences are also fluctuating right now. Where I normally wear very heavily scented lotion, I prefer fragrance free or my lavender and honey scent. I also normally prefer VERY heavy perfume like Lancôme La Vie Est Belle (full of iris and patchouli), but I have recently been wearing Dolce and Gabbana The One which mostly smells like Vetiver to me. It's powdery and very ladylike, not what I usually choose at all. I normally smell like a baby prostitute.
Anyway, back to the Brie. Did you know they also sell it in a little log?! So much easier to slice up for crackers and bread, but when I picked it up in the grocery store the other day, the look of disapproval I was given cut me deep. Not deep enough, apparently, because I still bought that stick of yum.
Brie, you guys. Brie.
Monday, April 7, 2014
Gone, Baby, Gone
It started with my dad.
When my dad decided to get remarried, it almost felt like losing him. The three new kids he had to take on were so young, 5 year old twin boys and an 8 year old girl. And they were wild as hell, they had been through so much already. I didn't like it. I didn't like one thing about it. I wanted to flip out and beg him to pick someone else to marry. But I knew deep down he didn't want to. And even after he was married and I wanted more of his attention, I realized they needed him more than I needed him. Sure, I was very sick, but they had no father at all, no guidance, no control, no structure. I knew sharing him was the right thing.
When it was time for Adam and I to break up, I felt like I could have kept him. I was making terrible decisions and we had outgrown each other, but I knew he loved me very much and I could have really pulled out the stops to manipulate him to stay with me. But I loved him too much to do that. I knew I had to give him up and let him go from our romantic relationship. Even now, it's an internal battle sometimes to not have his complete attention, but I know it's ok and that's natural.
When I dated Andy, it was just such a dream. Until his mother came in the picture. She was a grieving widow and that made her very emotionally desperate and selfish. Sadly, she let me know right away that she expected to be his first priority, and after not too long, his only priority. She took every opportunity possible to express to me how unwanted in her picture I was. And as a 23 year old girl totally in love with her 30 year old boyfriend, this was so miserable. He was so in love with me too, but he was caught in the middle of wanting to be with me and needing to take care of his mother. After a few years, I realized there was absolutely no way to stay in the relationship and I packed up and left because you can't ask someone to put you above their mother. If they wanted to, they would. He begged me to come back as it happened and promised it would change, but I didn't want him to have to fight with her for things to change. We still speak and catch up every now and then, and to this day, he still regrets the situation. And actually, so does she. Even now, years and years later, when he explained to her he was never as happy as when we were together, she attempted to contact me and apologize and right the situation. It was touching, and I appreciated it, but I could never be sure things would change and I couldn't live my life as a wedge. A 36 year old girl is a completely different person than her 23 year old self.
When I realized I had fallen in love with Alex, I thought that was really just the greatest. He was a lot younger than me, but I have never been concerned about age difference, and what a badass thing to fall in genuine love with your best friend's brother, that's the dream right there! When I knew it wasn't just infatuation, it was real stuff, I was so excited about what that meant and how cool that future would be. I would have never even allowed myself the opportunity to think that way if I had known how that would actually turn out in the end. When his sisters made it VERY clear that neither his nor my happiness mattered at all in the situation and they would always be disgusted and unhappy with it, I knew right then and there it would never be ok. Even with great efforts, deep down I knew he was just not tough enough to cope and I wasn't strong or selfish enough to pull us both through it. Even when they were faking tolerance for it, I knew them well enough to know what was happening behind that and it felt like willingly taking a little dose of poison every day. Aside for my grandmother dying, I can't remember a harder time in my life. It was the 2nd biggest heartbreak I had ever suffered and it drug on until I wasn't even the same person anymore. I thought taking a break and starting it over may work, but the wounds are so deep, I didn't know if they could heal. It still drags on. He still contacts me all the time. Even though we've both moved on a few times, and even when I say the meanest things I can think of, he doesn't relent. I don't know if he keeps it up because he still cares and he fears he'll end up Andy 2.0 or if he does it because he hates me deep down and wants to be a constant reminder of what I unknowingly gave up for him. I'm not even sure he knows why he does it. I just wish he'd stop. But I've asked him to a million times and he doesn't.
Because of all this, I'm just not a huge fan of conventional relationships. I'm certainly not against it, I'm just not one to invest totally anymore. Over time, it has become increasingly clear to me I'm much happier when I don't have expectations for relationships, if I just float through them, enjoying the good parts and putting zero pressure on the situation, there are no bad parts. I don't know if its because I fear that anything I touch turns to shit, if its because I feel like I break people's hearts, or if it's because I despise the feeling of pain more than I enjoy the feeling of utterly committed love. And I'm totally happy. I feel content and calm and have a great time every day. I feel like people hate so hard on a Gwyneth Paltrow/Chris Martin situation because they can't stand the thought of admitting how gravely unhappy or just ....dead-souled and complacently numb they are in their own relationships and they've come so far in the conventional picture that they're embarrassed to give it up. I totally don't blame them because I really thought the same way for a long time, but man, you have your heart shattered into a billion pieces, you tend to come out the other side seeing things quite differently.
The moral of the story is I don't know that conscious uncoupling is something I do, but it actually may be my constant state of being. And I'm totally ok with that shit. I've always had a bit of a gypsy soul, so it just works I suppose. It's a sunny place to live. I'm a giddy little girl.
When my dad decided to get remarried, it almost felt like losing him. The three new kids he had to take on were so young, 5 year old twin boys and an 8 year old girl. And they were wild as hell, they had been through so much already. I didn't like it. I didn't like one thing about it. I wanted to flip out and beg him to pick someone else to marry. But I knew deep down he didn't want to. And even after he was married and I wanted more of his attention, I realized they needed him more than I needed him. Sure, I was very sick, but they had no father at all, no guidance, no control, no structure. I knew sharing him was the right thing.
When it was time for Adam and I to break up, I felt like I could have kept him. I was making terrible decisions and we had outgrown each other, but I knew he loved me very much and I could have really pulled out the stops to manipulate him to stay with me. But I loved him too much to do that. I knew I had to give him up and let him go from our romantic relationship. Even now, it's an internal battle sometimes to not have his complete attention, but I know it's ok and that's natural.
When I dated Andy, it was just such a dream. Until his mother came in the picture. She was a grieving widow and that made her very emotionally desperate and selfish. Sadly, she let me know right away that she expected to be his first priority, and after not too long, his only priority. She took every opportunity possible to express to me how unwanted in her picture I was. And as a 23 year old girl totally in love with her 30 year old boyfriend, this was so miserable. He was so in love with me too, but he was caught in the middle of wanting to be with me and needing to take care of his mother. After a few years, I realized there was absolutely no way to stay in the relationship and I packed up and left because you can't ask someone to put you above their mother. If they wanted to, they would. He begged me to come back as it happened and promised it would change, but I didn't want him to have to fight with her for things to change. We still speak and catch up every now and then, and to this day, he still regrets the situation. And actually, so does she. Even now, years and years later, when he explained to her he was never as happy as when we were together, she attempted to contact me and apologize and right the situation. It was touching, and I appreciated it, but I could never be sure things would change and I couldn't live my life as a wedge. A 36 year old girl is a completely different person than her 23 year old self.
When I realized I had fallen in love with Alex, I thought that was really just the greatest. He was a lot younger than me, but I have never been concerned about age difference, and what a badass thing to fall in genuine love with your best friend's brother, that's the dream right there! When I knew it wasn't just infatuation, it was real stuff, I was so excited about what that meant and how cool that future would be. I would have never even allowed myself the opportunity to think that way if I had known how that would actually turn out in the end. When his sisters made it VERY clear that neither his nor my happiness mattered at all in the situation and they would always be disgusted and unhappy with it, I knew right then and there it would never be ok. Even with great efforts, deep down I knew he was just not tough enough to cope and I wasn't strong or selfish enough to pull us both through it. Even when they were faking tolerance for it, I knew them well enough to know what was happening behind that and it felt like willingly taking a little dose of poison every day. Aside for my grandmother dying, I can't remember a harder time in my life. It was the 2nd biggest heartbreak I had ever suffered and it drug on until I wasn't even the same person anymore. I thought taking a break and starting it over may work, but the wounds are so deep, I didn't know if they could heal. It still drags on. He still contacts me all the time. Even though we've both moved on a few times, and even when I say the meanest things I can think of, he doesn't relent. I don't know if he keeps it up because he still cares and he fears he'll end up Andy 2.0 or if he does it because he hates me deep down and wants to be a constant reminder of what I unknowingly gave up for him. I'm not even sure he knows why he does it. I just wish he'd stop. But I've asked him to a million times and he doesn't.
Because of all this, I'm just not a huge fan of conventional relationships. I'm certainly not against it, I'm just not one to invest totally anymore. Over time, it has become increasingly clear to me I'm much happier when I don't have expectations for relationships, if I just float through them, enjoying the good parts and putting zero pressure on the situation, there are no bad parts. I don't know if its because I fear that anything I touch turns to shit, if its because I feel like I break people's hearts, or if it's because I despise the feeling of pain more than I enjoy the feeling of utterly committed love. And I'm totally happy. I feel content and calm and have a great time every day. I feel like people hate so hard on a Gwyneth Paltrow/Chris Martin situation because they can't stand the thought of admitting how gravely unhappy or just ....dead-souled and complacently numb they are in their own relationships and they've come so far in the conventional picture that they're embarrassed to give it up. I totally don't blame them because I really thought the same way for a long time, but man, you have your heart shattered into a billion pieces, you tend to come out the other side seeing things quite differently.
The moral of the story is I don't know that conscious uncoupling is something I do, but it actually may be my constant state of being. And I'm totally ok with that shit. I've always had a bit of a gypsy soul, so it just works I suppose. It's a sunny place to live. I'm a giddy little girl.
Friday, April 4, 2014
RAAAAAAAAAAANT
I know a woman with a full time job (where she is a manager), husband, two dogs that also teaches Pure Barre. Yesterday, she told me a story about a girl that works under her having a meltdown and running out of the building covering her ears and shouting that she "can't take it anymore!". She became concerned that something was terribly wrong with the girl and asked a co-worker to check on her. Said girl, called the co-worker back and said she "preferred to speak through her exclusively" and that she just found the job "too stressful at the moment" and that her manager (the woman I know) was "mean, I don't like the way she talks to me" and so on and so forth. She said that she'd like to keep her job, but she wants to be treated differently and gentler. To my relief at hearing this story, I learned they were like fuck that, and called her back to give her an exit interview and inform her that leaving work in that fashion is a resignation. I applaud them. Because this person would do something similar again. I call it "emotional terrorism". People who do things over and over again to manipulate people in such a way to make the emotional current of every situation exactly what they want it to be.
We ALL freak out to an extent. We have our moments, our days, our weeks, whatever. And there are some people who do this, but genuinely realize it, are trying to stop it, and apologize and correct their actions. It's a one or two time event with them and they fix the issue. If it was learned as a child, it probably takes a long time to grow out of. BUT I'm telling you, I have noticed a pattern in the people that do this on the regular as a way of life. The following are my findings:
1. Often younger. I think around 27 and on down. The "What's In It For Me" generation. They grew up with cell phones, the internet, everything ready and at their fingertips with the click of a mouse. They don't understand the lack of instant gratification and they won't stand for it. Also, when you're in your twenties, you really think you have shit figured out. Until you turn about 32 and cringe at the thought of how very wrong your younger self actually was.
2. Only children. This is particularly bad with only children because they were never put in an all-the-time sharing situation from birth. Your personality develops pretty early. When you are forced to realize the world doesn't revolve around just you, it can be hard. You have to learn to deal with someone else receiving attention or things you didn't receive. But, you love this person, so you learn to also share with them and champion them and cope. Also, when you are left in charge or under the charge of a sibling, you learn responsibility, consequence, compassion in a very specific way that you don't learn at school. It's an important dynamic.
3. The youngest child in the family. This can coincide with #1 because they may have been born in a more convenience-based time, but there's also something to be said for the parents just being at the end of their ropes, and after stressing out about the older children, they're ready for an emotional break and they just sort of let the last one do whatever. These sad individuals are never wrong. They usually grow up with zero understanding of their shortcomings and an incapability to admit they even have any. It's always the fault of someone else. Anyone else. Just not theirs. And people should help them. With everything. They've earned it simply by....being.
4. People who haven't faced much adversity. Whether it was having a wealthy family, perfect health, being naturally good at most things, if you don't face any adversity in your life or nobody teaches you that at some point you will, the first time you come in contact with it, you don't know how to react. If you didn't learn it as a child, as an adult, you may handle it like a child. I also call this "Every kid on the team gets a trophy" syndrome.
Everyone on the team does not deserve a trophy just for showing up. People don't deserve to be handled with kid gloves just because they're sensitive. The world owes you nothing. Not one minute on this planet is guaranteed to you. It is a miracle you get to breathe in and out every day. It's an even bigger miracle if you were born and stay healthy. Just because someone opposes you, challenges you, pushes you, does not make them insensitive or bad or, my personal favorite "out to get you". They are providing you with a very valuable service which will build your character and skill set. Even if they ARE assholes, the world is full of them, so get used to it and learn how to handle it gracefully. Stay away from the people that really make you feel bad, but if you look around and suddenly find no one, maybe it's time to examine yourself, the way you're handle things, and your tolerance threshold. Sometimes, you have to communicate things to people that aren't all that pleasant or you have to hear things that are even less so, and you know what? That's life. That's communication. And people don't always tell us what we'd like to hear. It's good for us. It's just as large a part of what makes us strong, capable people as when someone loves and supports us.
If I'm not doing my job, I'm not contributing to a team, I'm making people's lives harder, I get asked to bounce, that's ON ME. Even if I truly feel I gave it 100% and did nothing wrong? Still ON ME. It's on me to pick up those pieces and move forward understanding that it's life and life isn't fair. It is what it is. Keep moving.
Breathe deep, put a helmet on, don't take things personal, hear things with a positive, curious, compassionate mind, realize that all you can control is yourself, learn that you only get one body so take care of it. Remember the world owes you nothing so take everything you do receive as a big ol blessing. You actually owe it to yourself to be the best version of yourself and ask what YOU can give back. What can YOU contribute? What can YOU do for yourself to make YOU a more vital person?
And if you expect a trophy from me for just showing up, I'll give you one all right. I'll shove a trophy so far up your lazy ass it busts out your dumb skull.
Have a nice day :)
We ALL freak out to an extent. We have our moments, our days, our weeks, whatever. And there are some people who do this, but genuinely realize it, are trying to stop it, and apologize and correct their actions. It's a one or two time event with them and they fix the issue. If it was learned as a child, it probably takes a long time to grow out of. BUT I'm telling you, I have noticed a pattern in the people that do this on the regular as a way of life. The following are my findings:
1. Often younger. I think around 27 and on down. The "What's In It For Me" generation. They grew up with cell phones, the internet, everything ready and at their fingertips with the click of a mouse. They don't understand the lack of instant gratification and they won't stand for it. Also, when you're in your twenties, you really think you have shit figured out. Until you turn about 32 and cringe at the thought of how very wrong your younger self actually was.
2. Only children. This is particularly bad with only children because they were never put in an all-the-time sharing situation from birth. Your personality develops pretty early. When you are forced to realize the world doesn't revolve around just you, it can be hard. You have to learn to deal with someone else receiving attention or things you didn't receive. But, you love this person, so you learn to also share with them and champion them and cope. Also, when you are left in charge or under the charge of a sibling, you learn responsibility, consequence, compassion in a very specific way that you don't learn at school. It's an important dynamic.
3. The youngest child in the family. This can coincide with #1 because they may have been born in a more convenience-based time, but there's also something to be said for the parents just being at the end of their ropes, and after stressing out about the older children, they're ready for an emotional break and they just sort of let the last one do whatever. These sad individuals are never wrong. They usually grow up with zero understanding of their shortcomings and an incapability to admit they even have any. It's always the fault of someone else. Anyone else. Just not theirs. And people should help them. With everything. They've earned it simply by....being.
4. People who haven't faced much adversity. Whether it was having a wealthy family, perfect health, being naturally good at most things, if you don't face any adversity in your life or nobody teaches you that at some point you will, the first time you come in contact with it, you don't know how to react. If you didn't learn it as a child, as an adult, you may handle it like a child. I also call this "Every kid on the team gets a trophy" syndrome.
Everyone on the team does not deserve a trophy just for showing up. People don't deserve to be handled with kid gloves just because they're sensitive. The world owes you nothing. Not one minute on this planet is guaranteed to you. It is a miracle you get to breathe in and out every day. It's an even bigger miracle if you were born and stay healthy. Just because someone opposes you, challenges you, pushes you, does not make them insensitive or bad or, my personal favorite "out to get you". They are providing you with a very valuable service which will build your character and skill set. Even if they ARE assholes, the world is full of them, so get used to it and learn how to handle it gracefully. Stay away from the people that really make you feel bad, but if you look around and suddenly find no one, maybe it's time to examine yourself, the way you're handle things, and your tolerance threshold. Sometimes, you have to communicate things to people that aren't all that pleasant or you have to hear things that are even less so, and you know what? That's life. That's communication. And people don't always tell us what we'd like to hear. It's good for us. It's just as large a part of what makes us strong, capable people as when someone loves and supports us.
If I'm not doing my job, I'm not contributing to a team, I'm making people's lives harder, I get asked to bounce, that's ON ME. Even if I truly feel I gave it 100% and did nothing wrong? Still ON ME. It's on me to pick up those pieces and move forward understanding that it's life and life isn't fair. It is what it is. Keep moving.
Breathe deep, put a helmet on, don't take things personal, hear things with a positive, curious, compassionate mind, realize that all you can control is yourself, learn that you only get one body so take care of it. Remember the world owes you nothing so take everything you do receive as a big ol blessing. You actually owe it to yourself to be the best version of yourself and ask what YOU can give back. What can YOU contribute? What can YOU do for yourself to make YOU a more vital person?
And if you expect a trophy from me for just showing up, I'll give you one all right. I'll shove a trophy so far up your lazy ass it busts out your dumb skull.
Have a nice day :)
Thursday, April 3, 2014
Things My Mom Currently Believes
1. Turn signals are optional and only needed at "certain times".
2. Because she paid for Geek Squad on the TV and blue ray player she bought me as a housewarming gift, they should come to my house to assist with any and all technical needs. I explained to her several times that Geek Squad can not come help get my Comcast wifi working, they are ONLY available to help with things purchased at Best Buy, but she just keeps insisting "Call those bastards, that's what I pay them for!".
3. Brownies from her favorite coffee shop have some sort of addictive chemical in them and that's why she eats so many.
4. Farting in public is totally fine as long as you walk away because "it's harmful to keep inside you".
5. The more pets, the better. Especially of the rescued variety.
6. Putting clothes on above pets is not only acceptable, but hilarious and warrants a facebook post.
7. My friend Tony Chin-Quee is the FUNNIEST, and the emphasis should go on the Chin part of his last name.
8. She can pull off aviator sunglasses.
9. It's not cool or special unless it comes from a flea market or yard sale. (she's actually remarkably good at finding cool stuff at both places)
10. This is totally the year for the Cubs to win it all.
Oh, Vanessa...
2. Because she paid for Geek Squad on the TV and blue ray player she bought me as a housewarming gift, they should come to my house to assist with any and all technical needs. I explained to her several times that Geek Squad can not come help get my Comcast wifi working, they are ONLY available to help with things purchased at Best Buy, but she just keeps insisting "Call those bastards, that's what I pay them for!".
3. Brownies from her favorite coffee shop have some sort of addictive chemical in them and that's why she eats so many.
4. Farting in public is totally fine as long as you walk away because "it's harmful to keep inside you".
5. The more pets, the better. Especially of the rescued variety.
6. Putting clothes on above pets is not only acceptable, but hilarious and warrants a facebook post.
7. My friend Tony Chin-Quee is the FUNNIEST, and the emphasis should go on the Chin part of his last name.
8. She can pull off aviator sunglasses.
9. It's not cool or special unless it comes from a flea market or yard sale. (she's actually remarkably good at finding cool stuff at both places)
10. This is totally the year for the Cubs to win it all.
Oh, Vanessa...
Thursday, March 27, 2014
Thursday Bitchfest
I'm still really sleepy from night time escapades. I'm hungover in love. And add that to my early PMS schedule. I'm grumpy as hell. You're all assholes. Here's a list of things I don't like right now because all I want is sleep. (and more escapades)
1. Puppies. Everyone thinks they're great, but they're fucked and squirmy and their breath smells like their shit. And when someone gets one, that's ALL they can focus on or talk about.
2. The fact that, without actual 100% proof, Malaysia was all "Yep, we saw an image from space of some stuff floating in the ocean and then we did some 'state of the art math' and that plane crashed insanely far from where it was going and everyone on board is dead. Don't ask about it anymore. It's gone. Bye." Does that not seem incredibly negligent? They didn't identify even one piece of the actual plane. You don't think it would be good to obtain proof before telling someone their loved one is dead?
3. Upon learning that wheat is actually not great for your body, all I want in the world is a giant loaf of fresh bread. Also, I just ate the last of my Italian chocolates.
4. Shopping for a vacuum is so fucked. I just want one to appear. Ditto for a coffee table.
5. I'm about to pay higher rent for an apartment in Okemos, MI than I paid for a bigger one in Toluca Lake, CA. That is compounded by the fact that my best friend got evicted from that dream apartment for jumping off the roof into the pool. When he was over 30 years old. With his boss.
6. The coffee at my work seems to make my insides completely liquefy.
7. My shoulders hurt from Pure Barre. I have Pure Barre again at 6pm.
8. My new bed won't be in for weeks. My new TV is also delayed.
9. I can't keep track of all the plans, work projects, social events, charity volunteer commitments or deadlines of my life. Even with 4 different calendars in my office.
10. My cuticles are just ALL fucked up.
1. Puppies. Everyone thinks they're great, but they're fucked and squirmy and their breath smells like their shit. And when someone gets one, that's ALL they can focus on or talk about.
2. The fact that, without actual 100% proof, Malaysia was all "Yep, we saw an image from space of some stuff floating in the ocean and then we did some 'state of the art math' and that plane crashed insanely far from where it was going and everyone on board is dead. Don't ask about it anymore. It's gone. Bye." Does that not seem incredibly negligent? They didn't identify even one piece of the actual plane. You don't think it would be good to obtain proof before telling someone their loved one is dead?
3. Upon learning that wheat is actually not great for your body, all I want in the world is a giant loaf of fresh bread. Also, I just ate the last of my Italian chocolates.
4. Shopping for a vacuum is so fucked. I just want one to appear. Ditto for a coffee table.
5. I'm about to pay higher rent for an apartment in Okemos, MI than I paid for a bigger one in Toluca Lake, CA. That is compounded by the fact that my best friend got evicted from that dream apartment for jumping off the roof into the pool. When he was over 30 years old. With his boss.
6. The coffee at my work seems to make my insides completely liquefy.
7. My shoulders hurt from Pure Barre. I have Pure Barre again at 6pm.
8. My new bed won't be in for weeks. My new TV is also delayed.
9. I can't keep track of all the plans, work projects, social events, charity volunteer commitments or deadlines of my life. Even with 4 different calendars in my office.
10. My cuticles are just ALL fucked up.
Tuesday, March 25, 2014
I'm So Fucking Ready
I am so ready for that spring and summer feeling.
That first day of warmth, where you walk out of a building and the sun is actually hot on your skin and your car is a place you wouldn't leave a candy bar.
The first thunderstorm. The kind that doesn't bring down ice. The kind that you can smell coming and rumbles on through dropping big buckets of rain noisily while periodically lighting up your bedroom with flashes. Love it.
I'm ready for overgrown weeds and dusty roads and sticky sweat and just a touch of sunburn on my nose. Ready to ask for extra ice in my drinks and for tacky bright nail polish that I claim is "tropical". Ready to look out over Lake Michigan from behind my wayfarers and Instagram the experience so people trapped at work can be jealous.
I'm ready for ice cream.
I'm ready to show off the body that I work so hard on all winter. Clothes are for suckers.
That first day of warmth, where you walk out of a building and the sun is actually hot on your skin and your car is a place you wouldn't leave a candy bar.
The first thunderstorm. The kind that doesn't bring down ice. The kind that you can smell coming and rumbles on through dropping big buckets of rain noisily while periodically lighting up your bedroom with flashes. Love it.
I'm ready for overgrown weeds and dusty roads and sticky sweat and just a touch of sunburn on my nose. Ready to ask for extra ice in my drinks and for tacky bright nail polish that I claim is "tropical". Ready to look out over Lake Michigan from behind my wayfarers and Instagram the experience so people trapped at work can be jealous.
I'm ready for ice cream.
I'm ready to show off the body that I work so hard on all winter. Clothes are for suckers.
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