Fuck, I Miss Living At Home. FREE FOOD.

So, I try to use this blog for good more than evil, but there are times when I can just not resist. It's the only place besides the bar I release my filter even a little anymore as an "adult".

I know a girl who recently left home in dramatic fashion at 18 to go live with her 23 year old boyfriend in his mom's house. This is typical behavior in the lands around my hometown. In fact, my friends and I actually go in search of facebook pages that are left open to the public describing these events in amazing ghetto lingo we like to call "tawkin". We make fun of them, hash out how and when the babydaddy will show back up, predict their future and ultimately...feel better about our own lives. It's a real treat. (Anything other than working AT work usually is) Anyhoo, this particular girl's life has been very different from the typical trashmonsters posting this rubbish. A lot more money and a new car since she was 16. Not too shabby. This was her boyfriend's recent facebook status.

"I may not be going to college or have gone to college but I do have a PhD its called a working mans PhD witch has taught me the value of dollar and that's why I have what I have and don't rely on my parents for everything witch makes them more proud of me that I dont rely on them. Also I love my girlfriend (whose name I shall leave out of the blog) :)" (<---- but that smiley face was real and stays put)

I will make the following statements and readers can be the judge.

1. I don't think this guy is a "bad person". Which my readers know is the worst thing I think you can say about someone. I think he's young and dumb and going through an emotionally idiotic time. We've all been there. For me, it was called 18-30.

2. He lives with his girlfriend in his mother's house.

3. His girlfriend's parents still pay for her cell phone, medical insurance, medicine, etc.

4. His girlfriend drives his car or his mom's car to wherever she needs to go.

5. His girlfriend is not currently employed by a business.

6. Someone pays for his girlfriend's food, the roof she lives under, clothing, toiletries, and future schooling.

7. Among other things, he does not understand the use of "which" from "witch". And I don't think you're a self-made man at 23 when your mom still does your laundry. (just my personal opinion there)

7.5 He did not need that second reiteration that he doesn't rely on his parents. It made it even more evident.

8. This was one incredible run on sentence. And here's my biggest point: I'm not even judging. I still get help from my parents and I'm a grown-ass woman. I don't look down upon those who take what their parents offer, especially when their parents have more than most. I do hope they don't abuse it. What I really don't think this guy realizes is that he gave an inadvertent Tyson-style uppercut to his girlfriend in that status. She depends on everyone for almost everything right now. And rightly so, she's 18, but believes she's totally independent, which is a hoot! When I first read it, I actually thought he was bashing the shit out of her via social network by calling her out and then saying he loved her at the end. Like "My parents are proud of me. I can totally take care of myself, but everyone has to take care of you. Oh, but I love you, smiley face for added sarcasm"

That... honestly would have made more sense.

Oh, to be young again! Sweet youth and the brawny, righteous power of the internet! Hold on to that self-assuredness now, Philosophy Doctor Working Man. Because someday, you will look back on this time and cringe. At least I hope you do.

And PS, no. I can't understand why my fonts magically change and refuse to change back after I copy and paste from somewhere else. I would ask my parents, but I want them to be proud that I eventually figure it out on my own. If I ever do. Which is doubtful. Sorry, mom and dad. I love you. :(