So.
I'm not trying to knock how great the series was. I really love the writing; some of it is so easy to relate to, funny and inspiring, at the very least, thought-provoking. But I have to say....watching Sex & The City years later, I'm really rethinking a lot of shit that went down.
Put down the knife, wipe the scowl, let me explain....
1. WTF is with the smoking? We just accepted it as it was part of Carrie's character, but bitch is RUDE about it. It's not as if she's only smoking in bars or outdoor areas, she lights up at dinner in a restaurant, at dinner parties, at a professional photo shoot?? Pretty gross. Pretty frickin' gross. Even if smoking laws were more relaxed back then.
2. The episode where Carrie throws the bitchfit at the Upper East Side party?? WTF?! "Ugh, I hate Park Avenue. It's like a foreign country". Fine. You don't have to spend much time there, you're a guest of Big's, there's free booze. Just keep your judgmental yap shut, or make conversation, but don't act like an asshole when the cokehead host asks you to please smoke on the balcony instead of inside her gorgeous townhouse. It's not a big deal. Sure, she's anal and probably ridiculous, but you're not moving in. Oh! and then you're there with your boyfriend whom you desperately want to love you, and you're pissed so you refer to him as "some guy" to the waiter, who you also let expose his crotch tattoo to you in view of a fancy party. Carrie, get your shit together. This is not acceptable behavior for a smart woman in her thirties. This is petulant. I won't even bother to throw in the part where you end up taking the waiter home with you...slut. And you know, this is sort of Carrie's attitude throughout the series!!! She's a total games player. Seriously. Use your words. You're a writer! Why did we justify so much of her behavior? I don't get it now.
3. In this same episode, Miranda really screws herself with pressuring Steve about the firm dinner. If she knows the dude is a poor bartender, present the opportunity to attend the dinner to him differently. "Hey, my Firm dinner is this week, it's going to be pretty fancy and boring, I'd love for you to go, but if you don't feel comfortable, or don't have anything to wear, I totally understand, I'll meet up after to give you a beej." Not "You have a gold cord suit? Fuck. Just fuck. You're scummy." She set him up to feel inferior, he didn't just bust it out on her. I mean, he could have said "This is a great idea, wanting to buy me this suit and all, I just don't feel comfortable with it, I'll get one somewhere else, I'll go to the next firm dinner, you fancy bitch, you.". But dudes don't want to admit defeat. Steve breaking up with her at her door before the dinner, dick move. But she set him up to feel shitty so maybe he wanted to show her some payback.
4. Don't get me wrong, the episode when Harry sees Charlotte at the party and asks her to marry him totes made me blubber, still does to this day. But Charlotte screaming in his face "Set the date! Do you know what people think when they see us on the street together?! Set the date!!" I mean... honestly, how does Harry forgive her for saying that??! To know your mate sees you as incredibly physically below them, and that everyone knows it and is also judging them, and points that out to you as a reason you should marry them??? How do you just brush that away? I guess worse things can be said over the course of a relationship, but shit. That's awful. Just truly awful.
5. Samantha is honestly the most logical and real character on this show. Sure, she is supposedly the power whore, but at least she owns it. And aside for all the sex, in public, she's actually quite a lady. Owning your potent sexuality doesn't make you a bad girl. She doesn't play games with men, she doesn't play games with her friends, she puts it all out there - win or lose. She handles her sexuality with strength and a bit of comedy and she handles her struggles with grace and poise. Maybe she wasn't "the star" because she's not that complicated and as women, we don't like to admit that we like complication. She's incredibly secure and tolerates her bits of vulnerability the best she can and for some reason, she's downplayed because she's so outwardly sexual.
I still love this series and I can watch it overandoverandover, but I'm saying, the older I get, the more I see Carrie as a bit of a childish, indecisive mess and less of a heroine. I still think she's a great character because she's interesting, but someone to aspire to? mmmmm maybe in your twenties. Hopefully, by your thirties, you'll realize that smoking all over everyone, attempting to trick and cajole your boyfriend into calling you his soul mate, and over-thinking every.single.emotion you have is just not...fabulous.
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