1. Why am I semi attracted to Cee Lo? Is it because I'm looking at him sitting next to Adam Levine and Adam just automatically makes everything within a 20 foot radius hot?
Answer: Possibly. Or it's those tiny little arms and sausage fingers.
2. Am I even ready to see the clip of Breaking Dawn Part 1? Like, emotionally, am I ready? This is the beginning of the end. Though other obsessions have come into my life, there is only one Twilight Saga. Am I ready?
Answer: Yes. I have already set the DVR and put aside some sniffing salts and kleenex.
3. Should I re-paint my toes right now? Light?
Answer: Who the fuck cares. They're just toes. Sure. Light.
4. Do the Chicken Verde Healthy Choice Steamers replace my weekend morning Chipotle? They are pretty damn good.
Answer: Like the Twilight Saga of food, nothing can replace Chipotle for me, but it's a great alternative and less than half the damn calories.
5. Why can't I look away from that lady Coco that's married to Ice T?
Answer: Because her tits and ass look inflatable and she has the jaw of a GD man. I love it!
6. Why am I still wearing my goodwill t-shirt (that I didn't even was before wearing) with the kittens and flag on it?
2-part Answer: Because I'm a fucking scumbag and because it's the best 1 dollar I ever spent!
7. When I get my hands on the Duck and the Muffin again, will I squeeze them to death like Lenny in Of Mice And Men?
Answer: I really hope not.
8. How fucking good is Mt Dew?
Answer: Super fucking good!
9. If I go to Wal Mart right now, will it make me depressed about life like usual or happier because I'll buy sweet tea vodka?
Answer: I should go to Meijer. I have a coupon. And fuck Wal Mart.
10. What is that weird smell?
Answer: I think..... it's my butt. Yikes.
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