Neat Stuff That Happened Today

1. Work is typical. I have to finish the paperwork of others instead of my own so I'll inevitably be late getting the totals in that I need to, but I'll be a team player so I have THAT going for me. Yippee!!

2. I realize I have forgotten my Uncrustables at home and the only thing I can think of that I actually want to consume is a GD Uncrustable because it's about 500 degrees outside and I don't dare brave the fire to get other food. Not even a McDouble.

3. I go to fix my self a nice big glass of ice water. I grab the ice cube tray from the work fridge. I twist the tray to loosen a cube. Part of it shatters off so hard it cuts my fucking face. No lie. A razor blade of ice slices my cheek open. What. The. Fuck.

4. I pant and suffer in the heat of my car all the way to Midas to get my oil changed and my A/C problem diagnosed. I had previously spoken to the guy at the counter and said I don't want to pay for this and him then tell me "Yep, doesn't work. Broken. Pretty hot in there, huh?". I wanted him to tell me exactly what was wrong so then I could decide how to fix it. He assured me this is what would happen. What actually happened was that he told me I needed to pay him $100 instead of the $20 diagnostic cost to put refrigerant in, charge that, THEN put dye in to run through to see where the leak in the system is. "Come back when it blows hot again. At least you'll have A/C for tomorrow, right?" Wrong, motherfucker. You closed and locked the Midas doors behind me and my shit blew hot the second I drove out of the parking lot. I wouldn't want to be you tomorrow if it doesn't magically cool down on my way to work. Because that means you charged me $100 and didn't even bother to see if the shit worked before your service guy with the nose ring wanted out of there to meet his fat as girlfriend down the street at the Village Idiot. See you at 5:20pm dirtbag. By the way, cool facial hair.

5. I Skyped with The Muffin and her Mommy. Watched her giggle and smile and reach at the screen. She was an animal.

6. I grilled some chicken and peppers on the deck while soaking in the rest of the sun. As I sat down to eat my yummy, self-cooked dinner, I look down to slice a pepper and the juice from it squirts directly into both of my eyes at the same time. Really awesome.

Guess which one of these things didn't make me want to punch someone in the head?