10 Reasons For Sanity

Life is hard. It's messy and complicated and a constant struggle to just... maintain. BUT, it's also hilarious, beautiful and the best part; temporary. That's why we should all just take at least as many moments to count our blessings or profess our love as we do to log our stresses.


Here is my attempt. Some things I currently love about my life.


1. My hair is so damn shiny. As I say this, God will probably punish me for my vanity and turn my strawberry lemonade locks to dust via fall wind and dryness, but until that moment, my head is awesome.


2. I had my Halloween costume a month before I needed it. This never happens. I may start trying to do Christmas this early. Though, Christmas won't come complete with slutty accessories. Or will it...


3. I found the absolute perfect jeggings for $15. Jeggings? Yeah, jeggings. Get over it!


4. It has been the prettiest fall so far!! What really made me realize this is getting to take some REALLY long drives through the Midwest on weekends and they were just gorg. Sunshine and leaves and 60 degrees? Gimme a break, that's fuckin awesome!


5. I made so many new friends this summer. There's one that shares my love of flowers in hair, flowy shirts, horrible love movies, sports, sarcasm, blue eyed boys, talking shit, air humping, great shoes and the belief that your house should smell seasonal. She really busts my balls a lot, but I love her.


6. My friends from home text me pics of themselves partying so I don't miss anything. And trust me, I would be pissed had I not received the picture of the hand gun and pack of smokes on a tailgate outside the local VFW. Love their crazy asses too.


7. Pregnant ladies and babies. There are so many of them now! I love, love, love babies so hearing every step of the huge asses, water retention, boil-like acne, longing for alcohol and constant vomiting makes me look forward to holding theirs with my wine buzz and totally still intact vagina. Yay for babies!


8. I'm all over tacky rap music lately. Loving it! I have no idea why. Normally in fall/winter I go all alt rock and dark. Nope. Not so much. Bring on the Lil Wayne and Drake. Bring on the "shawty" and "errybody" and auto tune. Don't get too scared, I'm also listening to Florence and the Machine. Throw in a little Whitesnake too. It's all good, brah.


9. The League. This show gives me so much joy. I mean, my entire TV/DVR schedule right now is pretty effing tight, but The League is my favorite. I want to hang out with these characters at that bar in Chicago SO BAD!!!

10. A whole year of health. Now, part of life's heinous stress is the fact that I will be in medical debt with ruined credit most likely my entire life, but it's still worth feeling healthy. I went 2 years with the contents of my digestive system forcing their way out a self-made path through me to my skin. Getting that surgery, and all the bills and stress that came with, was worth every second of taping and untaping gauze, not doing anything but holding still so my tummy doesn't hurt, rubbing Vaseline on my skin so stomach acid doesn't eat it all away, drinking the worst stuff on earth so Dr. Greggy can look at my guts glow, jamming a needle in my leg every two weeks, all of it. And every single person that called, texted, emailed, visited, helped me, went to appointments with me, they're all responsible for the health too. Every nurse that held my hand while I got stitched up or dried my eyes after they put an IV in me or forgave me while I was losing my mind on them or reassured me that I was recovering beautifully. Every person who saw my scar and said "Eh, it's no big." even though it looks like I got the worst end of an axe fight. Every second that Dr. White spent over me with that scalpel. Every minute I spent crying in Dr. Greggy's office where he had to say "Don't cry. Then I'll cry. And I'll make my assistants come in here and cry. I will fix you. I swear to you.". He came through on every single thing he said to me. And allllll of that is worth being able to run around like a wild animal now. And it's worth every dollar I have to spend and every point that goes away from my credit score.

Life is a real bitch sometimes, but every morning that I wake up and see that scar in the mirror I am reminded.... shit could be a LOT worse. Hey, At least I'm not eating hospital food right now.