Awww fux'n you, yeah, yeah

Some random thoughts and events from recently.

1. My friend sent me a picture of a woodchuck eating an apple. That lead to me googling other woodchuck things and finding out there is a whole section of t-shirts made for people who love woodchucks on 2 different websites. Life just got so much better.

2. I walked into my room from the bathroom this morning and the N*Sync Pop video was playing on MTV. Evidently, the 2 feet between my bathroom and bedroom doors is not only a naked zone, but a time machine back to when Justin Timberlake loved to beat box and budgets were so huge you could rent a giraffe and not even use it in the final cut of the video. Awesome!

3. Yellow cherry tomatoes are far superior to plain old red. Probably why God only grows them in the Summer.

4. Professional football is really pissing me off. Ochocinco bitching about getting hit too hard in pre season, Brett Favre being Brett Favre, Tom Brady's hair... it's like The Hills but with more Vikings fainting due to migraines.

5. My friends and I are putting together a boning play list. It's a potent mix of 90's R&B slow jams, Drake, Bed Intruder, Cee Lo "Fuck You" and Foreigner "I Wanna Know What Love Is". We would like to call it "Fux'n U - 20 Trax From Da Club to Da Bed". I smell a hit. And KY.

6. A bar in our town closed down. By the time we arrived for their last night, just about all they had left was Miller Lite and Smirnoff Ice. Yep... Icing happened. A lot. It has officially made it's way to my friends so if you are a puker or too grownz up to take a knee, you may want to avoid us for the rest of the Summer. I thought liquid cocaine was bad, but this.... IS AWESOME.

7. DRUNK HULK on Twitter is almost as amazing as Kanye West and Gary Busey. I strongly suggest you follow all three.

8. If your main mode of transportation is a scooter... and you crash that scooter inside your own apartment after a trip to the gas station for smokes... A. You are my hero and B. I need you to start a youtube channel immediately if not sooner.

9. I have a muffin top that is threatening to destroy all my jeans. I know that cutting out booze would be one logical way to tackle this problem, but if God didn't want me to drink booze, he wouldn't have made it so tasty and readily available. He also would have given me different friends.

10. I know a blue eyed boy. And I want to cover his face in kisses. Lots and lots of kisses.