Dear Little Girls,
You can be whatever you want. Maybe you're being told this. Maybe you're not. I hope you are. But I also hope you're being told you can be everything you want.
As girls, when we are young, we are often identified at something. That first day we take Matchbox cars outside to play in the dirt, we are "a tomboy". That first day we dress up our Barbies and play house we are a "girly girl". That first time we ask for colored pencils and an easel we are "artsy".
Now, we can't help that one day we wake up with that first little spark of self awareness and realize that though our mother has us dressed in an all white sun dress, we long to be outside rolling around in the garden with the dog. But hopefully, she's the kind of mother (like mine) that has already subconsciously instilled in us so much self confidence that we feel comfortable saying "I'd like to go outside and play in that dirt pile, can I wear this dress? I like it, but I don't want to get it dirty." and she says "Mmmm maybe put on a darker dress". She doesn't say something like "Stay inside and play with your dolls" or even "You need to wear jeans to play outside". Aside for her laundry concerns, she didn't set me up with boundaries that forced me to identify myself. There were "play clothes" and "nice clothes", but play clothes could be dresses or my Hee-Haw overalls, I was given choices. I wasn't a little girl that only wanted girly clothes or jeans and flannel, girl toys or only wanted boy toys, I wanted them all and I wanted them mixed together and I was never told that was wrong or that I was weird, I was told that I was "smart" and "unique" and "creative". And it made a massively positive difference in my life and how I view the world.
You may even be past that now. Maybe a parent, a teacher, even you have already identified yourself as something. Maybe you like that and maybe you don't. You can always change. You don't have to pretend you're not funny if you have already identified as "smart girl". You don't have to pretend you're not smart if you've already identified as "bubbly girl". You don't have to give up cheerleading if you also want to play soccer. You can do yoga and wrestling. Middle school and high school, they're scary places where there's a lot of insecurity. Find the people that make you feel great and cared for no matter what you are or what you like, those are the people to hang with. Real friends don't always just tell you what you want to hear, but they do recognize what makes you really happy or really shine and they support you in that. And the people that don't support you, or even worse, are insulting and judgey, they're just trying to find their own way too. Don't hate on them, just wish them the best. Lead by example. Trust me, you'll feel good about that some day, even if in the moment you want to yell at them.
And as you get older, this gets more intense. It's very, very hard on society's brain if you're the country club girl that also likes the dirty town tavern. It's confusing to some people if you're the girl that wants to go to the hockey game Saturday night and the ballet Sunday afternoon. People really freak out if you're the girl that wants to wear a turtleneck and slacks one day and cut offs and a football jersey the next. But you know what? That girl has a lot of fun. That girl isn't "a crazy scatterbrain", that girl just likes what she likes and does what feels great. That girl has a lot of different experiences and the people who love her, really love her because she's into different things. You get to meet so many interesting people with supportive mindsets and diverse interests that will champion you in whatever area you choose that day. And the more confident you are in yourself, the more the haters will just walk away and fade to the background, and the people who dig you are drawn to you.
BUT, different example, if you WANT to be a Ballerina and that is your calling and you eat, sleep and breathe it and nothing else even exists, that's awesome too! That singular focus that results in me sitting in an audience and watching you move and express music in a way that I can only marvel at, that's amazing. And I hope and pray that someone believes in you as a little girl when you tell them you want to be a Ballerina. Even if when you started, you weren't very good at it. And I hope they recognized that you could be good and they make you stick with it much to your gratitude as an adult.
Whatever you want to be, whether its many things or just one thing, I want you to understand you can and you should. You only get so much time on this earth and it is a big, vast, wonderful place with so much to see and do and so many people to love and life to enjoy. You can be the smart, funny, goofy, beauty queen, bubbly, athletic artist. You can. And whatever you decide to do, I hope you do it with tenacity, honesty, love, kindness, intense happiness and heated passion all at once and I hope it fills you with joy and contentment that you are grateful for. And I hope you spread that to others one day to inspire them.
Love,
A Former Little Girl
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