He's the perfect combination of boy and man! He looks great in a tux. He looks great in a t-shirt. He appears to have the ideal amount of chest hair. Not so much he's a gorilla, but not so little you wonder if it's plugs. He likes redheads, he makes cute babies. He has mischievously squinty eyes on top of artfully crafted face scruff, for God's sake!
I'm a fan of 3 things in a dude:
1. Blue Eyes
2. Proper Grammar (knowing the difference between 'your' and 'you're' will do)
3. And the ability to consistently make me laugh without annoying the shit out of me in the process.
If you have all of these things (and you are also handsome and old enough to legally buy me an alcoholic drink), I will go on at least one date with you.
JVDB not only possesses all of these qualities, but he was also Dawson and Mox. One guy pined after his childhood love for most of his life, but then bedded the sassy cougar, the other was stand-up enough to resist the whip cream bikini to keep his nerd girlfriend and then spit out "I don't want your life" to his coach (or dad, I can't remember) and I believed him! I believed he didn't want that life! And now, he has a new career out of making fun of his old, successful career.... the man is a genius!
As far as I'm concerned, if he doesn't wear all-white tennis shoes, beat her (where bruises show) or constantly ask for hand jobs when she's SO tired, his wife is the luckiest girl on planet Earth. That Bitch.
I mean... come on, man... he's dreamy as all hell...
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