Thursday, January 15, 2015

Maybe I'm Pregnant, Maybe I'm Not, But 2 Things I Don't Fuck With: Gang Members And Condoms. (Brian Told Me This Joke)

Yesterday I went so ape shit downloading Spice Girls songs on iTunes that I bought several twice. I didn't realize they had a greatest hits album. My bad.

After that I decided to go to the salon and get bangs. I forgot I had them when I woke up this morning and was momentarily mortified that I had ripped out so much hair in my sleep. False alarm! They are adorable.

I have my first family doctor appointment tomorrow morning and I have a huge fear they're going to tell me I'm pregnant because I was given a very stern lecture on safe sex during the New Years Day Brunch. Good thing I had enough mimosas in me not to care what my friends think.

I am thrilled to start watching Twin Peaks on Netflix because I can't wait to finally get what my parents were gossiping about back in the 90's. If they put My So Called Life on there, my whole world will be made. Brian thinks both of these shows are stupid. He couldn't get through the first 10 minutes of Twin Peaks without bitching. Next month he'll watch it by himself and tell me how great it is like he did with Scandal.

I don't understand...are we supposed to enjoy the Jennifer Lawrence song about the tree?? It sounds like French dance music they play in low-lit bars or Express. It reminds me of shopping for The Editor slacks. Maybe a champagne commercial. Do I love it or hate it? I don't even know anymore.

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