It's The Little Things!

Here's a list of things I want for Christmas. Or any old time.

1. An envelope of cash. $600 or more. Anything less is unacceptable.

2. To be able to eat all the Edward's key lime pie I can fit in my gullet without getting a huge ass.

3. A full-time writing job that pays like a full-time drug dealing job.

4. For my boyfriend to start wearing a seat belt without me having to tell him. Even when we're going "just around the block" (which isn't true if we're on the freeway)

5. Summer to return. Whenever I choose.

6. Gainful employment. That doesn't make me want to scratch my eyes out.

7. For people to stop using senseless tragedies as a reason to post political drivel on facebook. That's what the elections were for.

8. All the blue cheese and apricots in the world.

9. One of my neighbors to get chickens and put me in charge of egg gathering because I'm obsessed with that chore at the Prairie.

10. A snow cone maker.

11. Shared custody of Winnie.

12. To pick one night a month where my nails get done, my body gets waxed, and my tattoo gets removed while I sleep. (Once the tattoo is gone, replace that with spray tanning)

13. Toned armpits.

14. Sex and the City to start over somehow. No, not The Carrie Diaries.

15. A close friendship with Michelle Obama. Like, where we watch Workaholics and eat Vito's together!

Only 7 more days if you want to get all these under my tree! If you get me all 15, Margarita cones for everyone!!!